It's You That I Want | L. Evans

14

Cassie

Lily turned around, wiping the tears from her face. She took the book. "So now you talk to me."

"Evans-"

"No. I don't want to speak to you. Go talk to Emmeline if you need someone to talk to." She began walking away. Fuck.

"I was only getting advice on how to talk to you! I'm ready to talk! Don't be like me and push me away." Cassie had to admit, she'd been an idiot for the past month.

Lily stopped, and turned around. "Why now?"

Cassie pointed at the empty classroom near them. She didn't want their entire conversation exposed. They both walked in and locked the door.

"I would have done it sooner, but I was afraid. Look, you are the last person I wanted to hurt."

"When did you first speak to her?" Lily asked, still not looking at her.

She sighed. "The day before we came back. She's the first one I let into my room since the paper."

"You could let her in, but not me?" Lily's voice cracked when she spoke.

"I only let Emmeline in because she knew. She knew everything about me. And she knew what it was like being outed. I was in love with her at one point. And trust me, it was unexpected for me too. But I felt like she was the only one who would understand. I didn't think you would."

"Then help me understand!" She was crying and Cassie wanted to hug her so bad. "Tell me everything, okay? Help me understand what it's like. Don't go running to someone who used to be yours. Run to the person who actually is with you. I'm supposed to help you when you have nightmares. I'm the one who's supposed to wipe your tears. And I'm the one who should be holding your hand when shit gets bad, okay? I'm the one who's supposed to help you, Cass. I just want you to be okay."

Cassie was crying now. "She hurt me, Evans. And I was terrified that she'd find a way to come back and hurt you. I'd rather have her murder me than hurt you. But I soon learned I was probably just paranoid because as long as I'm here, that woman will not be able to touch you. Not even her, anybody. As long as I'm here, nobody is ever going to hurt you. But I suppose I failed already. I'm so sorry."

"You didn't fail," Lily whispered. They both looked up at the same time, locking eyes. Cassie smiled softly. Lily smiled too. She missed this. The eye contact and small smiles. She missed her girl.

"I never wanted to ruin this. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, Lily. I've just been an idiot this past month, and I'm sorry."

"You called me Lily," she pointed out.

"Once in a lifetime thing. Or twice I should say." Cassie winked.

Lily rolled her eyes, smiling. "I missed you."

"Come here." When they hugged, Cassie rested her chin on Lily's head. "I love you, Evans," she whispered, her heart beating fast.

Lily looked up at her, and smiled. "I love you too. You don't even know."

"Sneak out with me tonight. I want to make it all up to you."

"Just us?"

Cassie smiled. "Just us."

***

Cassie ended up with a problem when she asked James for the cloak. Normally, he wasn't nosey. But he had a bad day today and kept asking why.

"Cassie, just tell me."

"James-"

"Is it a girl?" he asked, stretching.