Chasing Innocence | ✓

42 | perfect days

I successfully avoid speaking to all of them for a week. Casey stays out of my way. Brax doesn't seem to even notice me and Sof just goes about her business, like she's used to me being in her life now. I barely see Xavier at the house and Marco never comes around anymore.

I'm practically left alone. But that isn't what I truly want. From some of them, anyway.

"Can we talk?"

I'm standing in the entryway to the kitchen. It's barely nine in the morning. I'm still dressed in my pyjama shorts and tank as I lean against the frame of the door.

Casey is making himself breakfast at the stove. The smell of bacon fills my senses as my mouth begins to water. He turns to me over his shoulder, his hair still messy from bed.

He's wearing a Marvel dressing gown, and from the way his cheeks tinge pink, I know he didn't think anyone was awake yet. "Um, yeah," he clears his throat. "Did you want some food?"

"That would be great," I smile. "Did you need any help?"

"No," he nods towards the dining table behind us. "Take a seat. It'll be done soon."

I wait at the table as he brings over two plates of food. He's even toasted me a piece of bread and created a smiley face with two eggs and a piece of bacon. Unexpectedly, my eyes tear up.

"Um—" my voice breaks and I place a hand to my mouth. Casey reaches across the table suddenly, grabbing my hand. He entwines our fingers across the table and my lip quivers as I offer him a smile.

"I love you," I start. "You're like the brother that I— I missed out on having in the hardest part of my life. I don't want you to think for one second that I condone what you did, but I could never hate you for your actions.
Maybe some people wouldn't understand that, but it's because they don't know you. They know why you did what you did or who you are as a person."

"Rhea..."

"Let me finish first, okay?" I sniff, wiping the tears with my spare hand. "I know you will feel guilty for the rest of your life over this. It's how I feel too. And although our circumstances are different, I want you to know that— that you are not your actions. You are not this one terrible mistake you have made. You're fourteen years old. You are not perfect. No one is. But I forgive you for this. Because I know you didn't do it out of hate. You did it out of love for your family."

He's crying and it's my turn to grab his other hand. He shakes his head; long hair dangling in front of his face as he muffles his sobs. "I'm so sorry," he whispers, and I know he isn't apologising to me. "I'm so sorry."

"Dylan hurt you," I croak. "He would have kept hurting you."

It's not that I believe he made the right choice, but I do believe he acted with the purest of intentions possible in taking another's life. He could only see that he wanted to protect his family and maybe it blinded him, but we can't fix our past mistakes.

We can't go back and ask ourselves why.

He lets go of one of my hands, picking up his own piece of toast. With a shaky hand, he brings it to his mouth, chewing quietly. I see that he's trying to focus on anything else right now and I admire his courage. I admire that he knows what he did was wrong and that he wants to own up for his mistakes.

"I still want to turn myself in," he says. "That hasn't changed."

"It probably never will change," I admit. "But you know no one in this family will ever let you do that. I won't let you do that."

"What if it's what I want?" he states. "Shouldn't I get a say in it?"

I let go of his hand, clasping mine together. "Have you really thought this through? If you do decide to go to the police, it wouldn't just affect you. Brax will become an accessory and Marco— well, I know you don't always get along, but I also know you wouldn't want him to go to prison. Even if what he did is hard to understand."