Chasing Innocence | ✓

43 | life endings

We pack up our things and head back just as the sun begins to kiss the horizon.

I hadn't expected to stay all day. Casey had been an entirely different person. It was as though he just let all his worries wash away with the tide. He'd laughed like his life was perfectly normal. He'd told me some of his favourite memories growing up.

We didn't discuss any of the problems of our lives. It felt good to let go of everything and just relax. Even if just for a little while.

"I'm starving," I groan, just as my stomach begins to grumble. "I say we pick up some burgers on the way back. What do you think?"

"I think that sounds like a plan," he agrees, buckling his seatbelt.

"Should we listen to some more Taylor Swift?" I joke.

"Shut up," he grumbles, despite the grin that graces his lips. "At least I don't have Carly Rae Jepsen on any playlists."

"Hey! Call Me Maybe is a classic. Eleven year old me would hit you right now if she heard what you were saying."

"I think our definition of classic is quite different," he retorts.

My arm dangles outside the car window as I watch the sun setting in the mirror. Casey talks animatedly as he shuffles through songs to play through the stereo. I smile as I watch him speak, glad that he'd had a good day.

"I wrote a letter," he snorts suddenly. "To Brax. It's sealed and on my nightstand. I thought about what you'd been saying, about how I should tell him how I've been feeling. So I wrote it all out. I don't think I'll actually ever give it to him, but it's a start, right?"

"That's really great," I nod. "I used to journal. My psychologist recommended it to me. It used to really work."

"Used to?"

"I kind of... stopped," I shrug. "I'm not sure why."

"Maybe you should start up again," he offers.

I nod. "Yeah. I think I will."

Seeing Casey like this has made me realise just how vital my own decisions have been lately. I shouldn't have walked away from Doctor Blackwood. I shouldn't have allowed myself to offer Maia nothing but empty promises. I shouldn't keep denying how I'm really feeling, like Beckett had shown me.

Maybe I should even start being honest about the way I feel for Brax. I can try and deny it as much as I want, but it isn't just hate between us anymore.

An hour into our drive, I pull into a diner for dinner. I ask Casey what he might want before walking inside, leaving him in my car as he cues some more songs for our drive back to the house.

It's a retro diner, almost like the one Davina brought me to when I was still getting to know Brax. It has red leather booths and neon signs. The menu is written in chalk above the waitresses head as she greets me. I order two takeaway beef burgers as the bell chimes above the door.

I turn back, expecting Casey to have decided he needs the bathroom or that I might need help carrying the food. Instead, I'm greeted by a man that instantly gives me chills.

I look away before our eyes meet. I've stepped out of the line so that he can order, taking a seat near the window as I wait for the food.

I turn back to my car, watching Casey with his head bent as he likely stares at my phone. His lips are moving and I wish I could hear what song he's currently listening to. He looks up suddenly, as though he can feel me staring as he waves.

I smile, waving back. He mouths something, pointing to my phone but I've always been terrible at lip reading. I shrug and then the waitress at the counter calls out my order.