Mother ➳ Ally Brooke

ten

7:18 AM

His ringtone started playing over and over again in my dream. I finally woke up to see it was actually him calling me.

I didn't want to answer it but I need closure. I need to tell him that what he did was a shit move.

I quietly got out of my bunk, still unbelievably drowsy from the pills, and walked outside to see we were at a gas station. I'm guessing my Mom and everyone else was in there, so I had to hurry.

"Baby? Hello?" His voice was no longer soothing, it was destructive.
I scoffed, "You have no right to call me that anymore."
"Let me explain. It wasn't me, it was her-"
"-Wow. The oldest excuse in the book. I thought you'd think of something better." I was baffled that he'd even make excuses.
"Y/n, listen. I love you and don't wanna lose you. I was drunk. Super super drunk. I let her have her way with me and I'm sorry."
"Stop making excuses and blaming it on her. Last time I checked, sex included two people. Oh wait, sorry. I usually put in all the work when we had sex so you don't really understand the rules." I quipped.
"Why do you have to be such a bitch about this? I love you and I said I'm sorry." He whined.
"Never call another woman a bitch, ok? A little 'I love you' and 'I'm sorry' isn't going to be enough, Caleb. You fucked me up and lost my trust."
"How can you put all of this on me, y/n? You left me here with no one to love or hold. What am I supposed to do?" My blood was cooking to an extreme level. He was the only person that could make me feel emotions most of the time and now I don't want to feel anything. "DON'T BLAME YOUR SHIT ON ME, YOU FUCKER. I DIDNT WANT TO COME HERE, AND YOU KNOW IT. IF YOU NEEDED SOMEONE TO HOLD, GO BUY A FUCKING PUPPY. DONT FUCK A WHORE AT A HIGH SCHOOL HOUSE PARTY!"
He was just as mad now, "I HAVE FUCKING NEEDS AND NATASHA WAS WILLING TO FULFILL THEM. IM SORRY IF YOUR MOM WAS A BITCH WHO WOULDN'T LET YOU GO."
I was so offended, and I couldn't process anything around me. It was like the world was moving so fast, but I was in slow motion. I've never got this feeling before. It was excruciating, "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO CALL MY MOM A BITCH. SHE WAS OBVIOUSLY SAVING ME FROM HAVING TO WITNESS THE TERRIBLE ACT WITH MY OWN FUCKING EYES."
"WOW, ANY OTHER TIME ITD BE OK. THIS TOUR IS GOING TO CHANGE YOU, AND NOT FOR THE BETTER. I CANT BELIEVE YOU ARENT GONNA FORGIVE ME THIS ONE TIME." Caleb replied.
"I CANT FORGIVE YOU BECAUSE IT JUST HAPPENED AND IM STILL HURT. YOU DONT DESERVE MY FORGIVENESS, YOU LITTLE SHIT."
He chuckled, "WOW, OKAY. CALL ME WHEN YOU FIGURE OUT THAT YOU WONT BE HAPPY UNLESS YOURE WITH ME. I CANT PROMISE ILL BE SINGLE THOUGH."
I felt a tap on my shoulder that broke me out of my trance. I looked back to see Mila and the other girls behind me. I whispered into the receiver, "Trust me. Everyone is replaceable. Including you. Burn in hell, fuck boy." I hung up the phone and turned back around to get my tired ass into the bunk and try to forget about him. I don't need him anymore. I just want to run away from these problems again.

--

"Get out bed, y/n. You've been in there for 4 days." Aunt Normani said poking my back.
I just ignored her like I've been doing to the other women in this bus.

I don't feel like getting out of bed. This happens only a few times each month. I'll be so numb that I just can't get out of bed. I'll lay there all day if I want to.

"Ally, getcho daughter. It's 12, and she needs to get up." Normani said walking away from my bunk.
Mom walked over to shake my arm, "Get up, mija. She's right. You need to be active." I just kept my stance and laid towards the wall, not being able to say anything. "We're at a whole new venue which means that you have a new adventure waiting for you."
"I'm okay here." I groaned.

I heard Dinah yawn and start stomping through the bus. She scooped me up in her arms and took me into the back room to close the automatic door, but not before she looked back to my mom to say, "Gimme 5 minutes."
Aunt Dinah dropped me down on the couch lightly and sat beside me. "What's wrong with you, kid?" She seemed really concerned.

I had no feelings of remorse over how I was acting, though. In fact, I had no feelings at all. I just wanted to lay around and try to get by this tour with my head on my shoulders, and my sanity intact.

I shrugged and kept quiet while I pulled my knees up to my chest and pushed my hair out of my face. She pouted, "Is this because of your boyfriend or because of that girl I caught you with?"
I shook my head, "Neither. And he's my ex. I don't want to refer to him as anything besides that."
"Lil Mama, there's something wrong and as long as you try to deny it, we will know." She replied. She had her hand on my foot and sighed, "Do you want to go home?" I just sat there fiddling with my fingers. "Tell me."
I bit my lip before speaking, "I kind of do, but if I go back, I'll be the laughing stock of my school. I let Caleb walk all over me, and I've groomed myself to be a confident woman who doesn't let men fuck with her. That's how I raised myself. Then again, being here makes me feel like a charity case for my Mom to stop feeling shitty about the way she's parented me for the past 16 years."
Dinah smiled, "I think your Mom is just trying to make you happy and break you out of these bad habits."
Happy? What does that feel like anymore? Without those pills, I feel nothing. "I just, I dunno."
She grabbed my hand, "Well, I do. She loves you. At least try to come to dinner with us today. We are worried."
I sighed knowing she wouldn't let up, "Fine. I'll go."

I didn't feel like going, but if it would get them all off my ass, I'd do it.