KNOCK, IDIOT!!! ~KiriBaku~

Chapter 3: the weirdest thing for an extrovert is when an introvert ignores them

Eijiro Kirishima

"Hey bro!"

"Shut up shit hair. Glad to see your fucking dressed, you himbo motherfucker"

"The room is too cold, Sero keeps turning on his fan!"

"Probably to waft away the smell of his fucking weed"

"....that's fair"

"I walked in and found the two freaks performing a fucking ritual in my room. Honest to fuck, of all the people I had to be matched with, it's those two lunatics!"

"Hey, they aren't so bad! Tokoyami gave me a cool little penchant once!"

"He probably thought you were one of his 'dark disciples'. He keeps trying to get me to wear gloves so I don't infect his holy objects with my sin"

"...ok, maybe that is a little strange, but you can look past that-"

"He won't let me eat anything that he hasn't checked for cursed energy. He threw a bowl of ramen I had made out of the window last week"

"Woah...and he lived?"

"Barely. The other idiot came home, so there'd have been a witness"

"Todoroki, right? He's a bit more chilled out, isn't he?"

"A little, but he thinks he knows everything. He keeps coming into my room and giving me stupid advice about things he doesn't understand"

"Eesh, I get why that'd be annoying" I said, humouring Bakugo's rants about the other boys. They always seemed to have done something else to annoy him every time we spoke, and I was surprised they were still alive. Especially after the time they had hidden under his bed and chanted incantations in the night. I thought they were dead for sure...

I think Bakugo actually reserved a strange fondness for the duo. Whenever he spoke of them, it wasn't the usual disdain, more just a general exhaustion. I think he considered them people for him to take his anger out on, but they rarely ever made him angry directly. At least from what he'd told me anyway. They were invasive, secretive, and sometimes outright crazy, but he hadn't kicked either one out yet, so that was promising in itself.

It's actually a miracle he'd accepted someone like myself to be close to him. Given how much he hated Kami, it was surprising he'd allowed me in, given how similar I was to the chaotic blond. But still, I liked the guy. His temper got annoying sometimes, and he could admittedly be scary, but he was my bro! My best friend! It didn't bother him when I just rocked up out of nowhere, he didn't seem to care when I messaged in the middle of the night, found no problems with me making jokes about his lack of a love life and occasionally even laughed at my jokes.

I felt a strange sense of pride whenever he laughed at something I did, knowing I was probably the only person besides his parents to ever hear such a noise. In fact, having met his parents, I wasn't even sure if they had. That was a weird day.

His mother, Mitsuki, as she'd insisted on being called, had come to take him home for the week-long September break. Bakugo had offered me "a ride, or whatever, I guess" seeing as I lived on the way to his place. Naturally, I ended up talking to Mitsuki, and found myself eating dinner with the Bakugo's. It felt a little like a reality tv show, except here, the arguments were real. Mother and son screaming over useless shit while Masaru, his father, offered an apology for the disruption. I'd just told him I was plenty used to it, and he'd regrettably nodded his head. Bakugo had relaxed after seemingly remembering I was there, and finished his dinner with a scowl and a tint of red on his face, likely from the shouting.

Mitsuki had offered to let me stay the night in Bakugo's room, but I had politely declined, wanting to get home and relax for a while. Seeing as I was only 10 minutes walk away, Bakugo came with me, helping carry my suitcase from his house to mine. He'd helped carry it to my room and had a brief encounter with my own mother, who had naturally embarrassed me enough to make me consider an early death.

But anyway, back to the here and now. Bakugo and I often spent time in my room watching movies when the others were out, seeing as we knew they'd be a while. I'd asked him about work, and he just said "shitty as ever", his default response that came to mean "ok"

He had a lot of quirky little sayings like that. "Whatever" meant "yes please", "shut up" was either "hello" or "I'm sorry", and "die" meant "leave me alone". Certainly a confrontational person, but that was well known enough to be a stupid thing to say. But still, it was almost as if all of that weirdness went away when we were alone. He relaxed a hell of a lot more, sometimes even falling asleep in my presence. I'd always left him where he lay, terrified of a single karate chop from him taking my hand clean off my arm.

"Oh, yeah, almost forgot" he said, and walked behind me. Before I knew what he was up to, he stormed out of the room and said "one minute"

Precisely three minutes later, he returned to my room, holding a small box. On it, "shit hair" was written messily, his usually beautiful handwriting disregarded for this.

"....happy birthday, or whatever. It's tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah bro! Thank you so much!"

I pounded forwards and tried to wrap my arms around him, but he swatted me away like a bug. "Get off you stupid loser!"

"Can I open it now?!"

"Do it at midnight, I'll stay until then. The fuckers won't be back until later than that anyway"

"Awww ok"

"Don't fucking pout, I got you a birthday present, jackass!"

Ignoring his recent flare, I crawled over to the DVD player and retrieved the disk. Kami had been watching the little mermaid, so I put that back in the box and pulled out something a little more suited to myself and Bakugo.

"Heh, did you really just pick 'Die Hard'?"

"Yeah. Got a problem?"

"Yes I have a fucking problem! It's October!"

"....and?"

"Die Hard is a motherfucking Christmas movie!"

"Approximately 62% of people disagree with you"

"Well 62% of people can go fuck themselves!"

"Kay, gimme a minute" I said, walking off towards the bathroom and teasingly toying with the rim of my loose sweatpants.

"You idiot! Get over here, it's starting!"

"Yeah yeah, one second~"
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I have no idea what to say here-

Fact of the Day: 62% of all Americans think Die Hard isn't a Christmas movie.