Poetry

06/09/2021

When you get told you're likable but don't get liked often,

your world turns upside down

and you start believing everything good is a lie.

I've been told my whole life that I'm likable,

but my experiences contradict that.

I talk a little,

I get called annoying.

I talk a little,

I get told I'm selfish.

I talk a little,

Apparently, I talk too much.

I talk a little,

I get talked over.

I talk a little,

I'm not worth listening to.

I get told I should talk more,

I cry.

Because every time I talk,

I'm chalked up to three things:

Annoying,

Selfish,

Stupid.

This life is a popularity contest,

And I was never a considered candidate.

Whatever stupid dreams I had of being the prom queen,

they've been crushed.

I don't know how they do it,

the people that are so effortlessly liked by everyone.

They're pretty,

and funny,

and super nice.

And I've been told I'm all of that too.

So what's the difference?

Undoubtedly,

this makes you question everything.

Am I stupid?

Am I annoying?

Do I talk too much?

Am I actually selfish?

Do I not talk enough?

Am I really not that pretty?

Have I always been lied to?

Do people not think I'm funny?

And all the little insecurities and questions,

they pile up into a mountain of negativity

until it's an avalanche

coming down on me

until I've convinced

my own self

that

I'm