Poetry

I grew up

I was born into this world with two helpings of understanding,

A side of oversensitivity,

and a large glass of naivety.

I grew up in ever-changing environments,

 where instability was the only consistency,

where parenting was "suck it up",

unfair,

or nonexistent.

I grew up in neverending fights between my parents,

both sides of my family,

and the government,

where normalcy came in "we aren't talking to them anymore".

I grew up only knowing to run away from my problems,

to go back to the same things that destroyed you,

and that the only way to survive was to lie,

where manipulation became so deeply ingrained into my brain

it was done by nature.

I grew up never wanting to lose my imagination,

to keep daydreaming,

to keep escaping,

because my reality was too cruel for me to comprehend.

My youth was torn to shreds,

stomped on,

lit on fire,

and those scars became the blueprints for my defenses.

I built walls no siege could crack,

I created a facade so real I believe it sometimes,

I dug trenches deeper than my wounds.

I learned my weapons quickly after that,

manipulation is my mastered art,

seduction is my secondary.

Growing up was no baby steps,

it was a war I was always on the losing side of,

beaten,

battered, 

heartbroken.

I marched on until I could face my enemies,

look them in the eyes without fear.

Soon they will be begging to be allies.