1.1 | daunting medleys

twenty-one | cloying sunlight and sugared sunsets

Tabitha was tired.

The world around her lacked sound, and her body was devoid of strength. She did nothing, just laid and listened. The eerie silence wrapped around her like oxygen, like dense oxygen that fought against her breathing. She wanted to open her eyes but fear gripped her by the throat and cackled. What was waiting for her outside the darkness of her eyes scared her more than she would've liked to imagine. A tear warmed its way past her cheeks and the cold followed immediately after.

Someone pulled the curtains apart, and the rustle of metal against metal forced her crusty eyes open. Blinking slowly, she looked to see Talia, standing by her bed. Her twin sister looked shattered, her eyes were rimmed red and her fingers grasped her shirt tightly.

"Morning Tabs." Talia's voice was soft, and she held onto Tabitha's hand. She nodded before pulling her hands out of Talia's, she scrambled to the bathroom. The rough, frayed edges of her jeans brushed against her wrist as she reached for the toothpaste to brush her teeth. She did everything almost mechanically, as if her soul had departed, leaving her body to mindlessly function.

Quickly taking a bath, Tabitha left the bathroom, afraid of looking into the mirror, afraid of what she would find when she saw herself. Talia had left, her bed made and her blanket neatly folded on her pillow.

She shrugged on leggings and a black hoodie, and checked the time. It was 9:00am and Tabitha had 30 minutes before Oliver would've gotten here. She turned to look at the mirror on her vanity, the girl in the mirror looked nothing like her. Tabitha expected to see her skin dry and her eyes cold and dead. Her skin was still moist from her shower but her eyes, they were glossy like they were fighting tears. Her eyelids seemed heavy and as she succumbed to the weight, a tear slipped out. She wiped it quickly, her hands shaking as she reached for her eyeliner.

**************

Tabitha was fumbling through her phone, a tiny smile quirking at the side of her lips when Aunt Grace walked into her room with hair oils and a brush.

"I realized that I haven't done your hair for you in a while, and I want to change that so hold on, let me make you even more beautiful." The older woman smiled, the laugh lines almost lost among weathered skin. Her hair was left in the ponytail it'd been in when she woke up, having no idea what to do with it.

Tabitha's lips twitched into what she hoped was a smile. "Well I stopped needing your help when I was twelve."

"And look at your choices now." Aunt Grace snarked jokingly, referring to Tabitha's unruly hair. She stood behind her, and held onto Tabitha's shoulders, the sympathetic light in the older woman's eyes almost blinding her.

Tabitha said nothing, just let Aunt Grace run her hands through her hair. The oil smelt like lavender as she worked it in. Her fingers massaged her scalp lightly, and the gentle motions brought tears to her eyes. Her mother didn't like her enough to braid her hair, her mother liked the fact that she was her model daughter. She liked Tabitha because she was her mother's achievement.

Aunt Grace was soon done. Tabitha gazed in wonder at the sheer beauty of her hair. "Thank you so much, Aunt Grace. This is so pretty." She gushed.

The older woman smiled, then caressed Tabitha's head slowly. "It's no problem. Do you want breakfast? I heard you were volunteering at the orphanage."

Tabitha nodded. "Yes, but I'll get breakfast on the way." The house was suffocating. She was drowning.

"Okay hun." And she hobbled out of Tabitha's room. No one mentioned what happened, and it was like it never happened. A film covered their eyes until it was forgotten, every yell and scream pushed to the back of their minds until it didn't bother them.