1.1 | daunting medleys

forty-three | matters of the heart

Two days had passed since Tabitha and Oliver had been at the lake. Tabitha, in the way that she dealt with anything traumatic, had tried to avoid the matter but Oliver had cultivated the habit of sending her poems that he wrote for her every morning, that just made her fall further in love with him.

Her and Talia were currently at the basketball court in school, and Talia was practicing for her game the next day. Tabitha was her cheerleader, her barely enthusiastic cheerleader, as her thoughts were on a curly haired boy with the smile with the brightness of a thousand suns and moons. Her phone was in her hands, pressing tightly against the gnarly scarring on her palm.

"Come on. That was clearly a three point shot. I can't believe you didn't even react." Talia said exasperated, as she threw her hands in the air.

Tabitha blinked herself back to Talia. "Sorry. I was thinking about something."

Talia eyed her skeptically, and walked to sit down beside Tabitha on the bench.  "I feel like you've been more absentminded than usual. Your head's always in the clouds but lately I have to call you more than three times before you answer me. Is everything okay?"

She stayed silent, and asked Talia instead. "Do you think I'm strong?"

Her twin kept quiet, looking at the ground beneath them. "Yes, yes I do. The divorce is killing me, and sometimes, I go to my room to cry, but you... I see you so calm, and collected, like nothing's bothering you. I don't know whether you've extremely strong, or you like to hide your pain." Then she turned to Tabitha, then let out a short rueful laugh. "Sometimes I think it's both." Talia held Tabitha's hand, swallowing the rest of her words.

Tabitha kept quiet, blinking furiously to hide her tears. "I think the divorce's my fault. They didn't fight as much until I got back from the hospital. Do you... Do you still want them together? Sometimes I do, but other times I really want the screaming matches over. Am I being selfish?"

"No. I googled my feelings when they first announced the divorce, and an article on Quora said it's perfectly fine to want them to be together even though it would be disastrous for everyone." Talia giggled, sniffling.

Tabitha laughed, then leaned her head on Talia's shoulder. "Quora? Really?"

Talia was about to reply, but then a message entered Tabitha's phone, and another one, and another one. She paused, and flipped the phone screen so the black dull casing was visible to her eyes. Talia looked down at the phone and chuckled.

"So, that wouldn't happen to be Oliver? Right?" She asked Tabitha, shoulders bumping teasingly.

Blinking rapidly, Tabitha turned to her sister. "What?" She hadn't actually thought that it would be that obvious, or that Talia would guess correctly. How she felt for Oliver was every bit a secret that she kept. People knew that they were friends, and that was fine, but the teasing gone in her sister's voice made her skin burn with embarrassment.

"No seriously. You get all starry-eyed whenever you look at your phone, and all everyone's talking about during lunch is both of you. Are you guys together?"

Tabitha shook her head. "And we can't be." Her hands started tapping her knees absentmindedly.

"Do you love him?"

The tapping paused, and she lowered her eyes, her fingers shook and she looked at the court to escape Talia's probing eyes. "Yes." She shifted her feet, and her sneakers squeaked against the floors.

"Then tell him. He's drop dead gorgeous, and so are you. You both like music, and must have a gazillion other things in common. Tabitha, I really don't see a reason why he wouldn't be in love with you."