1.1 | daunting medleys

twenty-four | straight out of heaven

Tabitha was nauseous.

Oliver sped down the road, the grating of the road blending with the sound of the wind blowing firmly against her fingers. Her tears dried faster than it would have, and the cold pinched at her cheeks. Tabitha pressed her nostrils against his back when it seemed she couldn't breathe anymore. Her bag kept vibrating, and she couldn't bare to look at the bag that held it. So she shifted her cheek to his back and closed her eyes.

The journey to her house seemed to drag on and on, and she didn't want it to end. Tabitha didn't want to go back. She wanted to stay anywhere but there. When they'd reached, Oliver got down and held out his hand. Tabitha took it and got down, almost tripping on her shaky legs. She tried to pull her hand out but Oliver held onto it and stroked her burnt skin with his fingers.

"You will be okay Tabitha, I promise."

The boy before her looked like something straight out of heaven. She blinked and the sun shone even brighter, strands of curly hair blocked the rays of sunshine from assaulting her. His hands were warm, and were still teasing the gnarly skin on her palm with his gentle touches.

She nodded, oddly glad that he didn't ask about what made her leave the orphanage so abruptly. "Text me when you get back, please tell everyone that I'm sorry for leaving so impromptu." Tabitha waved, and walked in. Oliver seemed reluctant to let go of her hand, and she didn't want him to stop touching her, it was better than going into her house.

Oliver dipped his chin, and got on his motorcycle, muttering a low goodbye. "I meant what I said Tabitha, you'll be okay. I promise." He called after her. A cynical smile curved her lips. Tabitha doubted it. She really doubted it. She was falling apart, into barely passable pieces, and she knew it.

She walked into her house, her feet dragging in a lazy rhythm that she knew her mother abhorred. She could almost imagine the way her mother's expression would twist as she told Tabitha off. Commenting on how much she spoke, or how she used slang instead of proper words, or how unruly she was, or how she wasn't supposed to inhale her food. Tabitha wondered if her nose would still be up in the air, if she would still have that condescending look that slithered into the lines on her face or if she would be forlorn or guilty. Tabitha wondered if what she had done would weigh on her chest and press until she couldn't breathe, just like Tabitha.

The door was quiet as it swung open, and as Tabitha walked in, she wished hadn't. Her mother was crying, her father looked dejected beyond repair, Talia's shoulders slumped within themselves. Her grandmother was the ever stern matriarch and cousin Tiana was obviously disturbed. No one was speaking, and her grandmother and cousin were the only ones that turned to her. She hung her bag on the coat rack and walked into the chilly living room, her tears dry and her smile polite.

"Tabitha darling." The elderly woman was about to stand to hug her, the cold expression on her face melting but Tabitha rushed to her and sat beside her. She sat between her sister and her grandmother, the sofa was large enough for all four of them, just so they could all sit before her parents that looked like criminals before a judge.

Holding her grandmother's cold hands in hers, she leaned against the older woman and said warmly before letting go. "Good morning grandma. Morning Mum and Dad," she turned to Talia and Tiana and greeted them. They all mumbled greetings for her, her grandmother's voice louder than the others. The air was stuffy with tense hatred and anger. Tabitha couldn't look anyone in the eye, just fumbled with the rings on her finger.

"Now that your daughters are here. I want to know everything that happened yesterday." Her grandmother's stern voice sliced through the atmosphere, almost startling Tabitha.

Her mother was about to speak but her father cut in, with a throaty, bitter laugh. "There's no need. She cheated on me. End of story."

"There's no need?" She repeated incredulously. "Would I have cheated if you hadn't been so distant? You treat me like I am trash, like I don't deserve you and I'm tired of it! And besides, David was more than willing to treat me preciously." She added smugly, Tabitha knew she wasn't guilty. The older woman was looking to get a rise from her father and she did. He stood up and calmly dropped a folder Tabitha didn't notice on the coffee table. The dull thud startled her mother and she flinched, her eyes slowly filling with fear.

Her father pulled off his wedding ring - Tabitha was shocked he wore it at all - and left it on the folder. "Those are divorce papers, I've signed them and all they need is your signature. So you can go be with your David that treats you preciously." Tabitha felt nothing, didn't feel how her heart was breaking, definitely didn't feel how deep her pain felt, and she definitely didn't feel how her fingernails dug into her palm. She felt nothing. This was expected, so why did the tear trailing down her cheek stink of heartbreak?

He walked out of the house, not before zeroing on the tear on the apples of her cheeks and whispering an apology. He looked broken, his shoulders caving within themselves and his eyes were red. "I'm sorry." He whispered again. "I'm sorry mum."

"Banji! Banji! Get back here now!" The elderly woman screamed after him, her pale skin reddening after exerting her energy. She still called his name with an accent, but she called him lovingly, like a mother.

Her mother looked shocked, like she didn't believe what she heard, like she hadn't expected a divorce. Tabitha stared unflinchingly at her. Would she give her and Talia attention now? Was her failing marriage the reason she focused on the bad parts of Tabitha? Would she finally see her children?

Suddenly her mother's head jerked up, and Tabitha flinched. Talia was crying, her grandmother was sniffling and Tiana looked purely uncomfortable. The elderly woman and Tiana walked out, disappointment in their grandmother's hobble. Talia moved closer to Tabitha, as if trying to take comfort from her but she was unable to give any, she was cold. She was very cold.

"No! This can't be how it ends. Banji can't divorce me!" She cried hysterically. Her hands fumbling as she flipped the folder open. Tears and snot ran down her nose. "Who is going to take care of the kids? They can't let us get a divorce. Right? Tabitha, Talia, you can't let me and your father split up. You can't!"

She stalked to Tabitha and held her up. Her thumb pushed into her shoulders. Pain struck her in tiny packets and she fought to push out of her mother's crazed grip. Talia stood up and tried to push their mother off Tabitha but she couldn't.

"You have to tell your father that he isn't going to get a divorce. What will happen to me? We are not getting a divorce. We are not." She muttered calmly, staring into Tabitha's watery, scared eyes, as if trying to convince her. She stared deeply at her mother, even though she couldn't see her silhouette properly through the tears quickly building up.

Tabitha's silence pushed her over the edge and pushed her away, she bumped her knee against the edge of the sofa. The pain she felt was nothing compared to how her heart was breaking, it was beating fastly. She almost couldn't breathe. She fell onto the sofa and held her knee, it wasn't broken, just a full ache radiating from her shoulder to her knee.

"Why aren't you saying anything!?" She screamed. "Your father wants to leave me! You probably put the idea in his head! You ungrateful witch!" She watched her mother raise her hand with lashes clinging together with liquid pain and heavy eyelids, she wanted to leave but fear pressed down on her legs, dug its fingers in her shoulders and choked her with its gnarly hands. She waited for her hands to touch her, waited for another type of pain to add to the collection she felt. It never arrived. Talia was holding her hand, and stopped her from hitting her.

Talia was afraid. "You are hurting her!" She was shaking, like a leaf to the shaky dance of the wind. Talia was afraid and Tabitha was petrified, she was disoriented. She was unstable. She gripped the couch for stability, because everything around her was spinning. Talia was crying, but she looked undeniably strong, something Tabitha could never relate to.

Her mother pushed Talia off, her entire being unhinged. "No! No! It was a mistake! I didn't mean to sleep with him! I love you Banji!" She yelled, like her father could hear her. She ran outside, as makeup dripped down her face and pushed the gates open.

Tabitha could only watch, and watch unblinkingly, as everything shattered. She was tired. Everything was hurting. Everywhere was hurting. Perhaps she could sleep. Perhaps closing her eyes would've been best but she couldn't. She cried silently, pushing her face in the crook of her elbows. Tiny hiccups escaped her, and she didn't know what to do.

She just knew everything around her was hurting.

************

hi. i'm sorry.