Dead Silence {Salvis}

13. Realization

Daffodil: Symbolizes regard and chivalry. It is indicative of rebirth, new beginnings and eternal life. It also symbolizes unrequited love.

Monday(week timeskip)
-Sal's pov-

Ever since Travis and I 'talked' in the bathroom, I've felt the need to care for him. Like I want to be there for him. I want to help him. It just doesn't make sense. We are supposed to hate eachother. I just want to be around him more. So now every once in a while when I can't find Travis, I check the bathrooms. It's embarrassing. I wonder if he feels the same. Like, does he think of me as a friend? Or is he just talking to me because I force him to. I mean it would make sense, I wouldn't think of myself as a friend either. I get the feeling that he still hates me, after all he can't just randomly like me over night. Right?

Another thing I find weird. Whenever Larry told me about what happened between them, I felt sadness? I'm not sure why though. I couldn't have been jealous. I see Larry as my brother and Travis is only a friend. A friend. It hurts to say it. Maybe it's because we aren't friends? Ugh whatever I'm skipping this class. It's boring and the teacher won't notice I'm gone anyways.

I walk into the bathroom to be met with Travis. Ah yes, the perfect person to run into when you were JUST thinking about them. "Hey Travis" Travis looked up and smiled. It was kinda cute, it suits him. Travis grabbed some paper and wrote on it. It read 'We never officially became friends. I know this is out of character for me but let's be friends now.' Once again my heart dropped at the word friends. "Sounds great Travis!" We spoke like this for a while until we heard a teacher about to walk into the bathrooms. Travis grabbed my hand and pulled me into the farthest stall where he usually is. He locked the door. I never realized how small the stalls were. I don't think Travis noticed but he still held my hand. And we didn't have much room, and Travis has to be a certain height so my head was now basically in his chest. I kinda liked it. I subconsciously leaned closer into him, he smelt nice. When the teacher finally left, he noticed our position. He froze there for a second before pulling away. For some reason I felt sad, it was comforting.

Travis unlocked the stall, his face was red. He was probably embarrassed. We walked out and went back to talking. Just like that. As if we weren't just holding hands and as if I didn't just have my face almost in his chest. When Travis had to leave I felt sad. But it was still the middle of class? Why did he have to leave?

I missed his company. Whenever I'm around him it feels as if we've known eachother forever. Even if we hated eachother only a year ago and we barely hang out. I still wish we could be together forever. Not in that way though, as friends. Dating him wouldn't be too bad. No fuck!

Wait a minute. And that's when it hit me. It was so obvious? How did I not notice? I used to feel like this with ash. I'm most likely in love with Travis Phelps. Aka: Churchboy/straightboy. He did kiss Larry though. Then again, he was pretty high and Larry initiated the kiss. I wonder if he would do the same if we were sober? Shit no. He's straight Sal.

But then again, maybe 'in love' is too far fetched. This could just be a simple crush or a fascination that goes away soon. Maybe I feel this way because I've wanted to help him before? And now that I finally am, I'm so proud that I want to be closer to him. So maybe I'm not really in love, just strangely fascinated with him.

Being close to him sounds nice. I wonder how he would react if I just held his hand? For the second time. He wouldn't mind right? I mean he just did it?

Thank god, my thoughts were interrupted by the bell, now I could think of literally anything else. I exited the bathroom and headed for my next class. My last class. Travis is in that class.
I walked into the room, surprisingly, I was one of the first people in the classroom. I took an empty seat besides a kid, I'm pretty sure his name is Phillip. He used to be pretty close to Travis, I'm pretty sure they were like childhood friends or something. I never see them talk to eachother though. The class started filling up with students. I looked to my right, Phillip seemed to be staring at his phone. If he had laser eyes, he would've definitely broken his phone. He looked as if he was texting someone, I turned my head back, it would be rude to eavesdrop, plus he seemed pretty worried or something so it's probably something personal. By then, almost everyone was here. Almost. The teacher started to call role. I wasn't paying attention, once again. Role was boring anyways. A sense of deja vu washed over me when I heard "Travis?" "Travis Phelps?" I looked around the classroom, and sure enough he wasn't there "I'm guessing he's not here". What the fuck! He was literally just here, we were literally talking like about 20 minutes ago. I looked around once again to make sure I wasn't just imagining things. In the process of that, I caught I glimpse of Phillip, he seemed to be tense, kind of worried. I turned my head back to him after checking once again for the blondie and tapped on his shoulder. He seemed to jump and looked at me from the corner of his eye. "You ok there?" I asked. He nodded hesitantly then turned his head back to the front. I didn't know the guy but I was still worried. I don't know why, it was like a gut feeling. Like something was going on. I'm sure I'll find out soon enough.

I had a thought. A smart one. I turned to Phillip. "Hey, where's Travis?" He seemed to tense even more, which I didn't even know was possible. He turned to me for one of the first times. We were face-to-face. I was able to get a better look at him, his eyes were red and his lips looked like he had been biting on them as if he was nervous. He also seemed to struggle to find words. "He left. Not sure where, sorry." Just like that. He looked so serious but worried at the same time. As if he wasn't sure of what he was saying. He turned back to face the teacher. How am I supposed to focus now? Where had Travis even gone? That could've been why he left earlier. He did seem to be in a hurry, but at the time I didn't think to much of it, I was too busy being sad at the fact he had to leave. Maybe I'm just overthinking, maybe nothing is going on and he's just sick. He didn't seem sick in the bathroom though. Ugh! Nevermind that, I just need to get through the rest of the day.

I couldn't. Well I could, my mind couldn't. My head was filled with thoughts of Travis. This wasn't even a big deal. He had just left, I had no reason to be worried.

The final bell rung and I was the first to get out, Phillip quickly followed. He pushed passed me, he seemed frustrated so I didn't say anything about it. Assuming Larry was already in his truck , I went ahead and walked to his truck. I waited for Larry to unlock it and got inside. I buckled my seatbelt and waited for him to start driving. But he didn't. I turned to Larry to see that he was already staring at me. I slightly tilted my head in confusion. "You alright Sal? You seem off?" Did I really. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I said that a bit cheerfully. "I don't know it's just- you know what Nevermind." Larry started the truck and I faced forward. What the fuck are you doing to me Travis. You make me feel weird thing. Perhaps I do love you. I could never tell you though. Perhaps it's just unrequited love.

A/N- Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Anyways, chapters might come more slowly because all of these recent chapters were prewritten and edited over time. And slightly edited and changed before, sometimes even deleted. This was the last prewritten chapter so yeah, I'll be writing more over the next day or two and post it later on! So look forward to that!