4. Shattered

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TW: Slight abuse
-Travis' pov-

The final bell had just rung. I honestly don't want to go home, But if I don't show up or I'm late, father would be mad. I started walking my way out of the school, bumping into Sal and his friends on the way. I didn't bother looking back because I might do something bad. I might hurt them. I don't wanna be the old me.

I'll take the long way home today, seems like it's a smart idea. Like you know, a gut feeling?. The long way was also prettier. Except for the fact I would cross those old creepy apartments. But other than that, it was pretty.

-Timeskip-

As I near the door, I hesitate. I have to atleast try and speak today, father will get mad if I don't. I slowly open the door, trying not to be too loud. Shutting it the same way. I look around the living room, father must be in his study. I quickly head up the stairs before anything bad could happen. Still, trying to be quiet. I open my door slowly and shut it slowly. Same routine every day. I think I could get some privacy today if I was right and he's in hi- footsteps. Those are definitely my fathers footsteps. They were getting closer and closer. I adjusted my body so I was sat up straight. As the footsteps got closer, my heart started to beat faster. My door swung open. "Travis." I walked up to him and made sure I looked him in the eyes when we were speaking. I tried to speak, but nothing came out. Oh Shit. He looked mad, but not too mad, so I may be free for today. He looked like he was about to speak when suddenly getting distracted by something. The look on his face changed, I couldn't tell, but I think it's bad. What happened? What did i do? "Travis." Oh no. "Where's your necklace" I felt around my chest where it should be and was surprised when it was gone. I looked down eyes widened. He grabbed my face to make me look at him. "Where is it Travis? And look at me when I speak to you!" I stared into his eyes. The words I wanted to say wouldn't form. They bubbled up inside my throat. God I hated it. I felt a sharp pain on my cheek. Close to where it was already bruised. "Speak you sinner!" I looked down and touched where I had been hit. I looked back up still touching it. Once again I tried to speak but it wouldn't come out, nothing ever came out. I prepared for another hit. "Why are you like this Travis" my father asked. He seemed to have calmed down a bit. Maybe I am free today? He pushed me back, just enough so that I would fall down and then he left.

I sat there for a moment, in silence. Silence. Stupid fucking silence. It's always fucking silent. Why don't the words come out of my mouth anymore. This is his fault. He made me unable to speak. But he's my father, I can't just hate him. I need everything to go away. I want the pain to go away. I want the silence to go away. I know what I have to do.

I hurried into the bathroom that was connected to my room. I looked into the mirror. I hated what stared back at me. I want it to disappear. My stupid blonde hair, always having to look perfect because father says so. I ran my fingers through my hair, watching it fluff up. My stupid bruises. I ran my fingers over them, slightly wincing. I hate all of it. Without thinking, I raised my fist and punched the mirror. I watched as glass shards fell to the ground. That felt nice but, Bad idea. I hope he didn't hear it. My hand hurts. I looked away from the shattered mirror and back at my hand. Fuck
It was all bloody, blood ran down my hand. I picked out pieces of glass and looked under the sink for the first aid kit. I cleaned out the wound first then made sure the bleeding stopped. I then wrapped my hand in some bandages. I put the first aid kit back under the sink then took one last look at the glass before taking a few pieces and putting them in my backpack. I might need them. I walked back into my room and sat on my bed, scooting back to the wall. I had to wait for the pain to go away before I slept so for now I should just

DROWN.

-6:55-

I wanna leave, father probably won't want to see me for the night so I could just leave. I have a feeling that he is downstairs though. The window is the best option. If I get hurt then it's my fault. Plus, there's nothing better to do. Yeah I'll just leave.

I get up from bed and walk into my closet. I reach into the back in a hidden spot to grab a hoodie that father would never let me wear. I cover the hiding spot back up and put the hoodie on. It's a bit oversized but it only covers my hands so I'll be fine. I also grab some ripped jeans and my cross necklace. Can't forget that ever again.

I look out the window and open it, trying to be quiet just in case father is downstairs. I sit on the edge before hopping down. This wouldn't be the first time I've done it. So I've gotten pretty much used to it. My hand still hurt though, I had used it to pull myself out of the room in the first place, which was not a great idea. Once I hit the ground I pulled my hood over my head and began walking in the opposite direction of the house so father wouldn't see my through the window. I'm not sure where I'm gonna go but I don't mind as long as I'm not home at the moment. It's too boring there. I heard some voices from across the street but I ignored them. It's not my business anyways.

I decided to head to a nearby store, I had some money and I was quite hungry so it makes sense. I think father needs some stuff aswell.

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