no feelings || jenzie

fifty two

contains fictional things that people might find triggering or unsettling (drugs, abuse) please note that <3

kenzie

my vision is blurry as i run from the tears in my eyes, but that isn't important right now all i can think of is the memories of how johnny had hurt me and the memories of my dad, they had all come to me at once and it was to much to handle as well as the kiss i just shared with johnny

i fall to the ground as i reach the house and i sob feeling my heart thudder in my chest, i look down noticing my vision is blurry i wipe my eyes with my shaking hands and realise my vision isn't getting and clearer it was if i hand a blurry filter on, i come to the realisation that i'm having a panic attack and the thoughts come back to me but it's not just about johnny, it's about everything, everything i've ever been anxious about everything i've ever cried about, everything was coming back to me

i close my eyes hoping to forget everything but instead i feel a cold hand on my waist that wraps around my body to imbrace me and in that moment my all my dreaded thoughts were forgotten

+

johnny

i pull kenzie into my arms and hug her tightly, i knew straight away that she was having a panic attack and start having flashbacks back to when kenzie and i were younger and when she had told me about her father

flashback

it was late one saturday night and i was laying on my bed watching tv when my phone started repeatedly buzzing, i reached over and grabbed it off my bedside table and pressed on the message which led me to my instagram dms with kenzie which read-

+

(TW)

+

kenzie
johnny i don't know
what to do

kenzie
please help

kenzie
i need help

kenzie
i think somethings 
broken

kenzie
i'm in so much pain
johnny please i need
you

johnny
what???!!!!

johnny
kenzie what's happening
are you ok

kenzie
he hurt me

johnny
who hurt you kenzie??

kenzie
my father

johnny
what did he do are you
ok

kenzie
he's drunk probably high
aswell and he came into my
room and told me that i
should be asleep and i told
him that i was worried about
him so i was waiting to sleep
until i knew he was home and
he just started yelling at me

johnny
did he hurt you

kenzie
yes

kenzie
i went to get him some
water and a pain killer
cause that's the only way
i could think of to try and
get him to calm down and
so i went to walk down
stairs and he yelled at me
for walking away from him
and he followed me and i
was walking down the stairs
and he pushed me and i fell
backwards and hit my head
on the wall and hurt my ankle

kenzie
then i went to the kitchen cause
i didn't know what to do and he
came and cornered me and was
screaming how stupid and
disappointed he was in me and i
started crying and he looked at
me and called me a sook and a
baby then i tried to get past him
and he pulled me back into the
counter by my hair and i fell onto
the floor and hit my head again
and he just started beating me

johnny
holy fuck kenzie

johnny
this has happened way to many
times you need to call the police

kenzie
i cant he's my father

johnny
how can you give him that name
after everything he's done to you

johnny
we don't have to talk about this
right now i just need to know if
your safe

kenzie
he left the house so i'm sitting in
the kitchen where he left me on
the floor

kenzie
i cant stop shaking and i cant breathe

johnny
i'm coming

+

i drop the phone and ran out of my room and out the back door so know one would hear as i knew kenzie wouldn't want any one to know about this

i raced to her house and ran through the already open door and into the kitchen were i saw the crying brunette girl curled into a ball with marks all over her body
i carefully wrap my arms around her trying not to hurt her more then her "father" had already done

"i'm here kenzie, your safe" she holds onto me sobbing as we sit in her dimly light kitchen

+

back to the present

"i'm here kenzie, your safe" i say with tears running down my face as i had come to the realisation that i our talk had had the same effect as what her father had done to her

i pull her close to me and close my eyes as her breathing becomes slower and under control

+

text messages
with
lauren 🙄

johnny
please help

lauren 🙄
i'm coming now

+

like+comment 🧚

please if you are ever struggling feel free to reach out whether it is to me or to friends and family we will always be there to help, love you 💗