Wolfstar oneshots// Vol 2

Where are the words?

@Franzixidfc here's your request!!! Remus is bad at communicating his feelings so Sirius turns into Padfoot every time he needs to talk and he confesses his love that way!! Slight angst! Fluff! Mostly just Remus' thoughts! Enjoy!

Remus was having one of those days. You know the ones. He woke up with a headache, he tripped over his shoes on the way to the bathroom, breakfast made him nauseous and everything was just so damn loud. It felt like a sentient gray cloud was raining over him, following him around like an over bearing thought.

He failed his history of magic test, he got detention in potions, he snapped and called gilderoy an annoying twat because he wouldn't shut up. He left in the middle of James talking because he couldn't do it.

So here he was. 7:30 pm on a Tuesday night. Feeling like a pile of shit. He felt so just, wrong. Everything about him was wrong. He just wanted to fucking leave. Live in a cottage in the middle of nowhere with a cat and several second hand books.

Remus didn't even notice when he started crying.

"Moony," Sirius said.

Apparently he didn't even notice when Sirius came in the room.

"Leave me alone."

Sirius smiled sadly at him and brought a hand to his chin and brought his face up so they were looking each other in the eye.

"Why are you crying?"

Remus said nothing, he couldn't. How could he possibly explain it to Sirius. To his face. He shook his head.

Sirius looked at him for a moment and then turned into Padfoot. Remus watched the great black dog for a moment and smiled weakly when it licked his hand. He pet it for a moment and let the tears fall down his face.

"I hate everything about myself." He said finally

Padfoot jumped on the bed and moved into his arms. Remus hugged the dog and for a moment, everything didn't feel so wrong anymore.

***
Remus noticed himself watching Sirius a lot more these days. Watching the way his hair fell into his eyes or how he looked in that leather jacket. He noticed the way Sirius looked when he smiled, really smiled. It was too wide for his face. He loved it. He noticed how Sirius acted when he was upset, standoffish and rude, eyes that cut you deep. How he looked when he was happy, laughter that was too loud, jokes that slipped off his tongue, arms wrapping around shoulders or ruffling hair. Remus noticed that he loved it. He loved all the things that made Sirius, Sirius. Even when he was being rude, he loved him because of it.

He didn't know what to do with these feelings. It's not like he could tell Sirius. Risk their friendship? Absolutely not. He found himself unable to properly talk to Sirius without wanting to do something daft like hold his hand or put his ever-in-his-face-hair behind his ear.

So he said nothing. He pulled away from Sirius. He spent more time with Lily or James than with anyone else. He knew this was not the way to handle his feelings but what else could he do? He couldn't tell Sirius and he couldn't tell anyone else. So he kept it inside.

A hand was infront of his page. Two rings, doodles on the back of the palm. Sirius black.

"Sirius, I'm trying to read."

Sirius responded by taking his book away from him. An action that would've earned anyone else a slap on the arm. But this was Sirius. Remus sat there and looked at him. Sirius put a bookmark in the hook and left it on the coffee table.

"Why are you avoiding me?"

Remus didn't know how to answer. I'm sorry, I can't talk to you without wanting to kiss you. I want to spend all day in your arms. I wish you were mine.

"Why are you awake?" He asked, as it was 2 am on a school night.

"Remus." He said this in the way James would when he refused to sleep. The no nonsense, listen to me tone.

"I don't know how to tell you."

The common room was quiet. The fire was slowly dying out, the light of it highlighting Sirius' cheekbones and grey eyes. Sirius looked so beautiful in that moment, so, so beautiful.

"Don't you trust me?"

"It's not a trust thing. I just can't tell you."

Sirius looked away from him then looked back. "Okay." He said, "tell Padfoot."

Just like that. There was a great black dog sitting in front of him. Remus scratched him behind the ear.

"I just don't want you to hate me Sirius."

***
Remus sometimes thought that maybe Sirius fancied him back. It was in the little things. He looked at him for a second too long. He smiled at him so easily. He quite literally blushed every time Remus touched him. He spent long nights with him at the hospital wing. But how much of that was Sirius being a good friend? And did Sirius like him or was Remus seeing what he wanted to see? How would he know if he had a chance? How would he know if he should tell him?

Remus decided that he would try to find out.

"Here." Remus said and took the hair brush from Sirius' hands. He brushed his hair slowly, taking care of the tangles and apologizing when Sirius winced.

He put his hair in a braid and brushed his fingers on his neck. He watched Sirius blush in the mirror.

"Thank you moony." Sirius said quietly, flustered, cheeks and neck still red.

Remus smiled a little bit.

Maybe he would tell him.

***
"Sirius, I need to speak with you."

Remus tried to calm his beating heart by taking a deep breath, but it did nothing. Sirius sat next to him on the bed close enough that their thighs were touching.

Remus watched the door, hoping Peter and James would be out long enough for him to say this. How do you begin to tell someone that you've fallen for them? Where do you start?

He felt Sirius' pinky touch his.

"Would you prefer if I turned into Padfoot?"

He almost said yes. It would be so much easier for him if he told it to a dog instead of Sirius' deep grey eyes and smart mouth.

"No."

He took a deep breath and turned so Sirius and him were staring each other in the eyes.

"I've fallen in love with you."

Sirius said nothing. Remus almost ran out of the room. How could he say that? How narcissistic did he have to be to assume that Sirius loved him back?

He felt Sirius put his hand on top of his.

"I've fallen in love with you too."

Then he smiled. It was too wide for his face. His eyes smiled along with him. Remus put his hand on his cheek and smiled when Sirius leaned into his hand.

"I'd like to kiss you."

Sirius turned and kissed his palm.

"Get on with it."

Remus pulled Sirius in and kissed him. Sirius with his grey eyes and doodle filled hands. Sirius with his standoffish nature and rude remarks. Sirius with his ever-in-his-face hair. He could feel the too wide smile against his lips.

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I hope this fit your request!!

I think i might be trying out a new writing style here, what do you think? I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it.

How are you? I hope you're doing absolutely amazing and having an absolutely beautiful Sunday. I just wanted to let you know that I think you're so beautiful and so intelligent and I'm so honored that you chose to be here.

Feel free to comment any requests and please vote!

I LOVE YOU!

-Tani ;)