Just Steve

T W E N T Y - S E V E N

Eighteen days.

Eighteen long mornings and eighteen even longer and lonelier nights had passed since Steve had last seen (Y/n)'s face or heard her voice. In that time, Steve had managed to drive himself completely crazy. He had always been terrible at letting things go and (Y/n) was no exception. Not knowing where she was or if she was safe... he was constantly on edge, unable to rest.

The majority of his days he spent doing whatever he could to find (Y/n). He had sent what felt like hundreds of texts and tried to call her over and over again. Even though he knew (Y/n) didn't have her phone, some small part of him hoped that if (Y/n) had any way of receiving or listening to the messages that she might hear them and come home. It was a long shot, but he had to try everything he could and follow any possible lead that might bring her back to him. Well, every possible lead but one...

He hadn't spent much time with any of the team other than to explain to Nat what had happened. To his surprise, Nat was doing very little to help Steve search for (Y/n), growing quiet and reserved whenever the topic came up. Peter had been trying to find her as well, but whatever attempts he had made to contact her had been just as unsuccessful as his own. Steve had noticed that even though the boy was doing his best to hold it together, he was struggling. He hadn't spent a night at the tower since (Y/n) had left and was only seen by most when reporting on whatever missions he was involved in. He was slowly becoming more reckless, taking unnecessary risks during his patrols and skipping out on his summer classes. Peter was going down a dark hole that Steve worried even (Y/n) might not be able to pull him out of if she ever came home. But that's what happens when someone important leaves you. You feel like half of you is missing while the rest is lost, desperately trying to compensate for that one missing piece.

Between Peter and himself, they had searched almost the entire city. His hunch was that (Y/n) had long since disappeared from the city all together but he had no idea where else she would have gone. He had nothing. No leads on what city she had chosen to hide from him in, or guesses as to whether she was camping out in one place or travelling all over. The truth was he couldn't understand how she had so successfully managed to stay off his radar all together. He had used almost every tool at his disposal but it was no use. Her credit cards hadn't been touched, her face wasn't on any street cameras... It was as if she had completely disappeared from existence. She had become a ghost and it was infuriating.

The only path he had not gone down was asking Tony for help. The fact was that Tony had means of finding people that Steve had never been able to understand. Tech had never really been Steve's thing, but it was Tony's life. If there was anyone that could track her down it would be him. But Steve hadn't spoken to him since the day (Y/n) had left and from what he had heard Peter hadn't really either. Nat had tried to get Steve to talk to him but her efforts were futile. There was still too much anger there. 

The more Steve had thought about it the angrier he had become. This whole thing would never have happened if Tony hadn't been so stubborn about the contract. Steve had never needed it or wanted it, he had just gone along with it because it was easier to let Tony do what he wanted than to try and stand in his way. In the end, Tony always got his way. That was how their team had always worked, Tony's way or the highway... except (Y/n) wasn't part of the team. Steve should never have let Tony have his way in a matter in which he had never belonged in the first place. Now Steve was paying the price for the billionaire's paranoia. He knew that wasn't the whole story, but it was much easier to blame the problem on Tony's fears than to acknowledge that it was his own fears that had played the biggest part in (Y/n)'s departure and disappearance.

When he wasn't trying to find (Y/n) he spent most of his time avoiding everyone else by training like he was now. He thought that keeping busy and active would be the only way to keep the illusive girl from his thoughts. He had thought wrong. Through every punch, every time his angry and broken fist met the punching bag, images and memories of (Y/n) flooded his haunted mind.