Paralyzed

Goodbye

Harrys POV

I looked down at the sleeping girl, the girl who's heart I had to break. Little does this sleeping girl know that this is all gonna go away, it has to.

“Good morning.” Kenzie yawned, her blue eyes looking up at me.

For a one moment, I had second thoughts. I saw the happiness in her eyes. There was life in her eyes. How could I be the one to burn out this light? But I shook off the pain of it all. I knew this was the best for her. I remembered back to why I was doing this. I pushed the feeling of regret down and let my determination rise.

“Morning.” I smiled back at her.

“So,” she cuddled up next to me “What's are plans for today.”

“Well, um,” I started.

She sat up and looked at me. I sat up with her

“Todds gone, so I guess I should be going back.”

I got up out of Kenzies bed and walked over to the guest room. She followed behind me, but she stopped at the door. Kenzie watched me as I started to back up the suitcase.

“Y-you dont have to go.” she spoke her voice sad.

“But I should.” I gulped, feeling the tension rise. Knowing the climax is coming and the heartbreak is slowly forming,

“I-I dont want you to go though.”

“Kenzie, dont.” I stopped packing to look at her. He blue eyes glossed over with forming tears.

“Dont what Harry?” she responded firmly.

“Don't-just its better, its better if I go.” I said returning to packing.

“How do you know if it's better?”

“Stop. Please, stop with asking the questions. Don't make this harder than it has to be.”

“Then what has to be, Harry tell me whats going on.” 

“I told you. Im leaving.” I yelled.

“But why? I thought we-”

“You thought we what?” I started I knew what I had to say now. “Had a moment a spark? That shit only happens in the movies Kenzie. This is real life. We had a good run. It's time to pack up and move on.” I zipped up my suitcase. Grabbing my phone of the nightstand.

“You dont mean that.” She said stepping closer tears now falling off her check.

“But I do.” 

She paced to me, grabbed my face, and kissed me. I couldnt help it, my hands grabbed her waist and I pulled her in closer. I should have broke the kiss, but I decided to take advantage of the last time I would kiss her lips. Her soft pink lips and smell her hair. It took everything in me to pull away. 

“See, you can't look me in the eye and tell me you dont feel it. That you dont feel the connection between us. I could feel how much you care Harry from that one kiss. Whatever's bothering you, what ever your going through we can work out. Together.”

Kenzie tried to grab my hands but I pushed her away. “No kenz. I feel nothing. I felt nothing! Im sorry I tried to feel something for you but I dont. All I feel is another pair of lips against mine. Theres no connection. You're just being disillusion.”

I picked up my suitcase and walked out of the guest room towards the door. She followed after me.

“Fine styles.” she sobbed. 

I didnt dare turn around. I know if I did I would fall to my knees. If I saw the look on her face, the pain in her eyes, the life in her eyes drained and knowing I caused that I'd surrender. I would break down and tell her I am sorry and that she was right. That everything she said was right. That we could be together and work it out. 

“Leave. I dont care. I tried. I'm sorry that I thought you were actually a good guy. I am sorry I started to have feelings for you. Walk out, give up on this. Just walk away from us. Walk away from the one real thing you've ever known! You are a wimp and a chicken who is incapable of love! How do you expect someone to love you when all you do is push them away when you start having the slightest feelings for them. God, what are you damn scared of? A broken heart?”

I stood there dumbstruck. I didnt know what to do at this point. Her words hurt me more, I never expected it to be this hard to leave someone. I could here her sob. I didnt want her to think of me like this, but its the only way she will let me go. 

I walked towards the door and opened it. “I-I m sorry” I said before I walked out. 

“Well I am too. God, I should have known better. You're just as trifling as the rest. I will never understand how you get a thrill from this. Pathetic.”

I held back everything in me and walked out. I shut the door behind me and stormed out down the hall way til I got to my car. I got inside and punched my steering wheel and screamed. I put on head on the steering wheel and began to cry. The tears streamed down and hit my jeans. The smell of her skin still lingered on me. God, why did this have to be so hard. I just wanna go back up there kiss her, pick her up and carry her away. I dont want to start this car up and leave her behind. My heart ached. It felt like someone reached into my chest and was squeezing it making it harder to breathe. I kept telling my self this is what I have to do. For her. For kenzie. I whipped the tears out of my eyes, started the car, and drove away. 

Kenzies POV

Its funny. It's funny how it only takes a second for everything to change. A second can change everything. I woke up this morning happy, I woke up next to someone who meant an awful lot to me. But in a second that all changed. In that one second everything changed. He started saying the most ridiculous things and he left. He left me, all alone. 

I thought Harry was different. I thought he had changed. I thought he felt something for me, I thought we had something. I remember the things he said to me, the words he said All I feel is another pair of lips against mine. Theres no connection. You're just being disillusion. Out of all the things he said or could have said those words hurt me the most. They stabbed through my heart and drilled there way into my mind. 

I have never cried so hard in my life. I just paced back and forth crying running my fingers through my hair. Every time I thought of our first kiss I would just fall to my knee and cry. I could barely breathe. 

“im so stupid” I sobbed to myself.

I dragged myself to by bed and screamed into my pillow.

“Why did you leave me, i-i dont understand” I sobbed harder.

I didnt understand. I thought everything was going so good. I held a pillow closer to my face and cried into it. Every time I breathed I cried harder, the pillow smelt just like him. It hurt so much, why did it hurt so much. I just wanted to die. No scratch that. I didnt wanna, eat, sleep, get up, or even breathe. I just wanted to see those green eyes and curly hair. I wanted to see that elated smile and those deep dimples. I wanted Harry. I wanted to feel his warm arms hug around me. I wanted to taste his lips again. I wanted his sent of vanilla to intoxicate me. I just wanted us to be together. 

I started shaking. Why is this happening? What did I do to make him leave. I got up out of my bed and turned off every single light in my house. I closed every curtain trying to make it as dark as possible. 

I picked up my phone and called Becca.

“I-I need you” I sobbed hard.