Paralyzed

Only Lust

Harry clenched my hand tightly as he led me up his drive way to his front door. He then began to check his pockets for the keys to his flat.

“Yes.” He breathed as he inserted the key into the door and unlocked it. 

I slowly grabbed his waist from behind tight, pulling me closer to him.

“Now now Kenzie,” He began, pushing the door open. “Lets keep in our pants til we get inside.”

My cheeks turned a pinkish color at his words. Harry turned around to face me. His lips pulled tightly into a grin, his eyes locked on my lips. I didn't hesitate, I grabbed Harrys face and pulled it towards mine until I felt the touch of his lips. Our kiss was hot and heated, Harrys hands fell to my waist as he pulled me into his flat, slamming the door shut behind us with my foot. Our hands began filling each others body. I wanted Harry, I wasn't quite sure if it was out of lust or not this time. But the fear of me not falling for Harry, of this not being out of love scared me, so I fought to push the thought out of my mind. 

“Calm down Kenzie,” Harry laughed as we approached the beginning of his staircase. 

I just smiled, I gave him no time to react, I forced my lips against his again. I felt Harry lift me up by my legs and wrap them around his waist. Then I heard a ripping sound, followed by a breeze. Shit

“Fuck.” I breathe.

Harry let out another laugh, “Well I did wanna rip the dress off of you.”

Harry carried me up the stairs, our lips locked into one. The taste of Harrys lips made my stomach swirl. My heart beat began to pick up its pace with every kiss that was planted on my skin. Harry knew how to drive a girl crazy, though I wished I knew how to drive him crazy. I wanted Harry to feel the pleasure he made me feel. I wanted my name to be the name that parts threw his lips in small whimpers and moans. I craved for this, I craved for him. 

Harry pinned me up against the wall in his room. His hands gripped tightly around my wrist as he held my arms above my head. His hot breathe hitting my skin, sending goosebumps throughout my body. 

“Dont move.” He whispered, backing away from me. 

I did as he said, I didnt move. I kept my eyes locked on him. I wanted to know what he was thinking. I let my arms fall as I watched him. My dress was a little ripped right down the middle in the front and the back. He eyed my body, especially at the ripped portion of my dress. Harry licked his lips as he bite down hard on his bottom. 

Harry then slowly approached me, and fell to his knees. I kept my head up, but shot my eyes down as he examined the ripped area. He placed his hands on the fabric of my dress and began to tug it apart, causing the rip to become longer, revealing my laced pink underwear. He shot me up a smile as he raised his eyebrows. I replied in a shy smile. Then his attention returned back to body. I wanted to feel his touch, and soon enough I did. I felt Harrys lips press up against the bare skin of my left thigh. I fluttered my eyes unknowingly shut and rolled my head back against the wall at his touch. He then turned to my opposite thigh and did the same. I felt Harrys hands on the back of my heal, each hand on my corresponding heal, they trailed up my soft skin until they reached underneath my dress from the back. His touch made my body quiver. I felt a tug on my dress as Harrys hands ripped the fabric from behind. This rip was longer, I felt my back exposed. He then tugged his hands back to the front. He then began to pull the ripped fabric apart, revealing my stomach, then bra, then chest. Harry ripped my dress slowly, savoring every part of my body and planting small kisses that made my muscles clench. He ripped until the dress fell off of me.

I was never proud of my body. I always had a gut because of how much food I consumed. I felt a bit vulnerable, a feeling I was not so comfortable with. However, a feeling I got when I was with Harry. I always thought of myself as a semi-strong independent girl. But Harry took that all away from me. 

Harry slowly got up from his knees, our faces just inches from each other, but his eyes looked down at my body. He looked a bite shocked. Stunned even.

“God... you're beautiful...” His eyes met mine, “Absolutely stunning.” 

Harry growled. “The things im gonna do to you.”

My eyes widened. “No”

Harrys head pulled away from me, his eyes left in confusion.

Why the fuck did I just say no. Did I really just say no? But I guess... apart of me didnt want to have sex with Harry. Not like this.

“I-I want tonight to be about you.” I curved my lips up into a smile, his lips mimicking mine.

To be honest. I wanted Harry, I wanted to be with him and to well yeah have sex with him. But I knew this was lust, that this wasn't love. As cliché as this is, I want my first time to be out of love not lust. I knew Harry liked me a lot, and I trusted him. It's just, I dont want to be another girl he sleeps with, I wanna be more than that. I don't blame Harry though, I don't expect him to know. But I just needed to by myself a little time. I liked Harry, a lot, more than I probably should. So If I was gonna do anything out of the lust I am feeling, it would be pleasuring him. 

Harry kissed me on my cheek, and slowly walked to his bed. He sat at the very edge and then gestured for me to come near. I walked over to him. His lips in a smirk, his eyebrows raised. I then stood right in front of him. He slapped his hand on his thigh, signaling me to sit down. I obeyed him, I sat on his thigh, I could kinda feel his erection, it was... interesting.

Harry sighed, “You're so cute.” Harry looked down and swept his hand onto mine, our fingers intertwined. Then his eyes met back up with mine.

“I know.” he said calmly.

I looked at him. WHAT. HE KNOWS WHAT. WHAT IS THEIR TO KNOW. My period? I shot him a confused look.

“I can tell you wanna wait.” He said smiling big.

“And you are okay with this?” I asked, with uncertainty in my voice.

“Yes,” He laughed “I respect you, and if this is how you feel. Okay then, im not gonna pressure you.”

I squeezed his hand a bit harder, I adored how Harry respected me and my opinion. I adored how I could trust him, it was like with everyday that came I grew more and more comfortable with him. 

“It's just, you're experienced and im not and I dont wanna be just another girl-”

“No. Never, you would never be just another girl Kenzie. Never.” Harry brought my head closer to his until our lips touched and formed another kiss.

I might not know if I am in love with Harry, but I dont need too. I trust him more than anything. I would give anything for him. He meant everything to me. So no, I might not be in love with Harry... But... I am pretty sure, I am falling for this kid.