Paralyzed

'Time Away From You'

Three very silent days have passed since Elijah and Donald came for a visit. However, I still got texts from Elijah asking me if I was going to do it. I replied back with my answer. I tried so hard not to make it obvious to Harry that something was bothering me. But I think I am doing a very poor job. I wanted to give me as much time as I good. Though I knew I couldn't put this off forever. The pain of it all was the worst. 

I laid in bed with Harry as he cuddled up next to me from behind. I started to have regrets. Knowing this might be the last time I get to kiss him, hug him, or even be with him hurt. The idea of eventually seeing him in magazines with other girls tore me to pieces. I knew I wasn't taking this well, but it was something that must be done. I have no other choice. 

Harry's arms slid off of my body as he sat up. I could feel his eyes burning holes in my head as he stared at me. I didn't dare turn around, afraid of having ti face the unthinkable. 

“Kenzie...” I heard Harrys sleepy voice call out,

I slowly turned over and sat up with him. I gave him a look, telling him he has my attention.

“Is there something you aren't telling me?” 

I felt the pain of needles pressing in my chest again. I began to feel me become a little shaky as the question left his lips. I contemplated for a second, a little hesitant, but determined. I breathed out, as my lips quivered.

Harrys POV 

I waited patiently for an answer. I felt my heart start to pick up its pace, but by the silence that fell my answer was clear.

“Kenzie... What's wrong?” I said firmly. 

She didn't respond. She climbed out of bed and started to put on clothes. I watched her as she threw on a shirt over her tank top and a pair of her branded skinny jeans. 

“Kenzie. Dont ignore me, answer the question.” I said with aggressiveness. 

Her eyes died out, the color form her face drained. She walked over to me and took a seat at then end of the bed. 

“Harry,” She finally spoke. “I've been thinking the past few days and theres something I need to tell you.”

The tone in her voice indicated to me this wasn't gonna be a pleasant conversation. I sat up a little more and looked at her. She still didnt dare to look me in the eyes. Her focus stayed at her lap as she toyed with her fingers. 

“I-I think we should take some time apart.”

Her words shattered me. I didnt respond to what she had said, I wanted to here her out.

“I think you should focus more on your career and me on mine...” 

A silence fell upon us. I felt tension building up. I felt heartbroken and Angry. What was she talking about we were fine. She told me I was her inspiration, and I told her she was mine. Why would she ever think that time apart would be better for either of us. 

“I don't want time apart from you.” I spoke, my voice quiet. 

“Yeah, well, I need time from you.” Her voice shaky, as she got up and darted out the bedroom.

“Kenzie!” I yelled as I climbed out of my bed and followed behind her. 

I continued to call her name until we bother were downstairs. She headed to the kitchen to grab her keys and her purse. I followed behind her. When she stopped in her tracks I grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her around. Tears were flooding her blue eyes. Something about her stare told me there is more to this story then she was saying. I shook out the idea of sympathy as rage took over my rational side. 

“Theres still something you're not telling me.” I spoke harshly, pushing my thumbs into her shoulders as I held her tight. 

Tears slid off her cheek and I felt my heart melt. I can't stand to see her cry. 

“H-Harry please, you're hurting me.” She pleaded.

My eyes began to fill with tears to as my facial expression drained of rage and filled with heartache.

“Kenzie.” I spoke quietly, “Please you can't leave me. I need you. We can work whatever this is out.”

I loosened my grip hoping she wouldn't move, that I had convinced her to stay. But she turned back around and grabbed her things. 

“I'm sorry Harry, Now just isn't the right time.”

Rage took over my again. 

“Fine! Leave. You're just a liar. What happened to you weren't one to break hearts?” I screamed at her.

“P-people change.” 

“Yeah I guess they do. I guess I meant nothing to you! I guess THIS meant nothing to you! God I did everything for you and now you're just gonna through it all away like that! Without giving me a simple explanation?” I yelled.

“Oh yeah well doesn't that sound familiar.” Her voice became more defensive. 

“I told you I'd never leave you like that again! But then again, I can keep a promise.”

Tears fell from her eyes, she seemed more vulnerable than before, more open to stay. 

“Harry please, try to understand. I do care about you I-”

“STOP WITH THE LIES GOD DAMN IT.” I yelled at her “JUST LEAVE. I WANT YOU TO LEAVE.” I screamed some more venting out all my feelings.

I was tired of arguing. 

“Har-”

“Just go.” I said quietly, my head pointed at the ground, my voice indicating pain.

I didn't dare look up. I head the rattle of her car keys followed by footsteps. Finally, a slammed door. 

I tried to shake out the ears in my eyes but it didnt work. I made some sniffling noises to keep them all in, and ran my fingers threw my curls. I couldn't believe what had just happened. Did the one good thing in my life just leave me. Did I just let her go without a fight. What did I just do.

I ran back upstairs into my room. I paced over to the nightstand to pick up my phone. I scrolled threw my contacts until I ran across her name. I pressed on it. I was just about ready to call her, when it hit me. All the hurt came flooding back. I threw my phone on the bed and punched the wall. My fingers became numb and began to throb. I liked it. I masked the pain of heartbreak. For a few moments, the pain in my hand hid the paralyzing feeling of Kenzie leaving me, and me letting her go without a fight. Her words still taunt me.'Yeah, well, I need time from you.'