Little Lad x Reader

Chapter 1:

(this is completely satire, enjoy?)

I woke up and heard my alarm blasting in my eardrums, I looked around my crappy apartment. 

Today was the day this was all going to change, I was offered an internship at Starbursts(TM) to help promote their new berries and cream flavour. I was excited for this was a great opportunity to meet higher-ups in the candy business.

I went to my closet to put on my favourite black cocktail dress, it really showed off my dump truck of an ass. I slipped on my favourite dark black heels that made me taller since I'm 3'1. Did I mention my MASSIVE Z- Cup boobs? cuz I got them too.

I didn't shower since I'm a poor college student and I can't pay for the water and electricity bills, I decided to take my cute strawberry purse and I quickly put a little blueberry hairclip in my gorgeous silky, long, girthy, thick, short, greasy, sexy, barley legal hair. 

I walked out of my apartment grabbing the pearl necklace that my dead husband Master Fu gave me. I miss him so much we got married when we were 18, I'm now 19 he died of a terrible disease called Ligma.

I walked out of my apartment building and chased down a taxi, I told the taxi man (who was called Jeff Bezos) to drive me to Starbursts inc. He did crashing into seven different orphaned children on the way there, my grandma said that seven was a lucky number, because that was the number of wives she had.

Once I stepped out of the taxi, I saw how magnificent the place was it was perfectly gleaming. A man with bomb makeup and chatting away to minors on his phone was waiting for me, his name was James Charles. 

"Hey sister, you must be Y/N L/N, right?" James said, "Omg, we've been waiting for you all week. I will take you to Mr Lad he's gonna be your boss! 

"R-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rr-r-rr-r-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-rr-r-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-r-r-rr-r-rr-r-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-r-r-rr-rr-rr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rr--rr-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-rr-r-r-r-rr-r-r-rr-r-rrr-r-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-really!" I stammer.

I'd heard from the gossip around town that Mr Lad was a total hottie with a tragic past, I was so turned on by that.

"Yes sister, now stop acting like a sussy uwu rat baka you little impostor!"

"O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o--o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oo-o-o-oo-o-oo-o-oo-o-o-oo-o-o-o-o-oo-o-oo-o-o-oo-o-o-oo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oo-o-o-o-o-o-o-oo-o-oo-o-o-o-oo-o-oo-o-o-o-oo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oo-o-oo-oo-oo-o-o-oo-oo-o-o-o-oo-o-o-oo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oo-o-o-o-o-o-oo-o-o-oo-o-oo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oo-o-o-oo--o-oo-o-oo-o-oo-o-o-o-oo-oo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oo-o-o-o-o-oo-oo-o-oo-o-oo-oo-o-o-o-o-ooo-o-kay!" I state while looking short and thick.

Authors note: I am so sorry for this abomination of literature but I will be making more since I have no self-respect.  ( ͡• ͜ʖ ͡•)