Sweet Agony (Slaxl)

VIII

Slash's POV:

I was trembling, shaking. My body was on full alert and my muscles couldn't relax. All I was doing was eating breakfast. I'm sure a simple fix could help me, but I didn't want to take my eyes off of Axl. He was a hazard to himself, and I was the only one looking out for him. I felt horrible, like I hadn't slept in weeks. I had to pee really badly, and I felt like my skin was going through hot and cold flashes by the second. I was so on edge I could barely breathe properly, could barely take a bite of cereal. 

I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Hey," Duff said. I snapped my head at him. "Whoa," He took a step back. "You're freaking me out."

"I'm sorry," I mumbled. "I think I've just been having some bad nights."

He put a hand to my forehead, probably thinking that Axl might've given his cold to me. "No. Your anxiety is through the roof because of Axl. Face it, mate, you need to get both of you help. This is beyond unhealthy." His tone was concerned, but his expression was serious. His brow was knit and his lips an all-business line. I knew there was going to be no brushing him off dismissively this time. 

"I don't want him away from me."

"Saul," He used my real name, sending me further on edge. The concern in his voice was gone, now replaced by the seriousness that matched his expression. "You know what you're doing to yourself? You are making yourself sick and only hurting him. This clinginess is out of control and if you don't do something about it than I will."

"We have to get through the rest of the tour," I reminded him, thinking about the little regard that management had for our health. Hey, as long as we were on the road bringing in money, who cared who was strung out or on the verge of suicide?

"We're not gonna make it through the rest of the tour at this rate." I stood up, done listening to him. I knew he was right and I hated that. Why did he have to be right? "Where are you going?"

"Need a fix," I muttered, waking towards the back of the bus, the place where I always left my rigs. I sat down back there, grabbing a packet of the white powder and a spoon. I removed a lighter from my pocket and started heating it up until it bubbled, now a liquid. I put the liquid into a syringe and tied a band around my arm. Holding the band tight with my teeth, I put the needle through the skin on my inner elbow and pushed the plunger down. I relaxed immediately.

"I'd say that it's about time for an intervention!" Duff announced, arms crossed while he, Steven, and Izzy stood over Axl and I. We were sitting in chairs out in front of the tour bus while the bass player began to pace. "We're sick and tired of the two of you doing what you've been doing." He pointed to me first. "Slash, the drugs, dude, it's hurting you. You're not using them for what they're made for." It stung because it was true, but it's not like that was going to change the fact that I would use them for whatever the hell I wanted. "And you're stressing out over Axl way too much. You don't have to take care of him by yourself."

"You're messing up the shows. You're a key part. I can't play all the guitar by myself," Izzy complained. "You have responsibilities. I hope you understand that." He crossed his arms as well.

"I understand that fully-" I started to argue, only to be silenced by Steven raising up a hand. 

"Don't give us any bullshit. You've lost sight of everything that's important lately, and it's getting to be very frustrating," The drummer told me firmly. None of them were playing good cop today. And I knew that Steven had to be higher than the clouds, so there's no way that he would be angry with me unless I was really fucking up the band. 

"And you!" Duff shouted, turning towards Axl. I wanted to slap him across the face for yelling like that. The fact that they were being rough with me was one thing, but I didn't want to watch them hurt Axl. 

God, why am I such a girl?

"You've been driving us all crazy!" He shouted, raising his hands into the air in exasperation. "You need to see someone for help with this issue. We don't want you to die, and Slash can't save you forever."

"Maybe if we split the difference and you-" I started to be cut off again.

"There is no splitting the difference. The two of you have conspired to keep Axl away from someone who could actually help him for long enough, and it's only hurt him."

"Thank you for talking about my state of mind and cutting me out of the equation," Axl grumbled. He stood up. "I don't have to take any of this bullshit. Do you know what therapy does? No one gives a shit about you once you've got the right pills. They keep you out of their hair and it's over."

"We won't be sending you to therapy," Izzy started. There was a heavy silence that fell over everyone. "Slash is going to therapy."

"What?!" I demanded, standing up and enraged now. "How dare you-"

"What about me? Where are you sending me?!" Axl demanded. The silence stood over them. "Where. Are. You. Sending. Me?!" He demanded again. 

"We're sending you to an institution," Duff finally explained. 

"NO!" Axl and I both screamed at the same time. We both looked at each other. "I can't be away from him!" I insisted. "He doesn't need to-"

"I don't want to go there!" Axl said. "I'm fine, really. I'll be alright. My brain could be fixed if you just give me time-"

"It'll change him!" I went on. "He won't be the same and-"

"I really just don't think that's a necessary measure that needs to be taken."

Duff, Izzy, and Steven all looked at each other exchanging knowing glances. "You really expect us to believe that? We knew you two would be pissed but it's really for the best." Duff put his hand on my shoulder. "Axl leaves tomorrow, and that's when your first session starts."

I never felt so betrayed.