Sweet Agony (Slaxl)

XXI

Axl's POV:

This is the last time I'm going to try this. I'm sick of scaring Slash half to death, I'm sick of feeling this way, and I'm sick of being coddled. No more suicide, I promise. One more shot, and that's it. I held the knife to my neck, and the guitarist grabbed it. "What're you doing?" He whispered the words. "You promised."

"This is it. The last time. No more." I put my hair back over the spot I was going to cut. "I'm gonna get better now." I turned around to really look at Slash. "For real."

"I hope you aren't lying." The way he spoke made me believe that he thought I was a liar. In truth, I was a liar. I had been lying to him forever. But I wasn't lying this time. I was really done with it. There would be no more suicide in this house. There would be no more heroin in this house. Everything would be as Slash had always dreamed it would be. We'd be together and in love.

Fulfilling his sweet dreams.

And as for my dreams? They died with the part of my soul I'd given up years ago.

&&&&&

Slash held me in his sleep. I was struggling to keep my eyes shut. My mind was racing. I was done with trying to kill myself, but I didn't know what to do with myself otherwise. I'd been like this for so long I'd forgotten how to be happy. Imagine that. I wanted to laugh sickly, but I had to keep Slash asleep. I couldn't burden the poor man anymore. "Axl-" he sighed. He squirmed. "No, no, NO!" He shot up out of bed. "Oh." I was staring at him. "It's just a dream. Nothing to worry about." It wasn't just a dream. He was shaking all over. Slash laid back down, clutching me carefully.

"I've traumatized you."

"No, you haven't. It doesn't happen that much." I knew this wasn't the first dream. "I'll go back to sleep. Don't worry about me."

"I promise this time," I swore again. "I really won't do it again. I swear, babe. I won't."

"Goodnight, Ax. I love you." Slash still thought that I was lying. How would I be able to convince him that I was really trying?

"Love you, too." I smiled weakly. My eyes closed, and I drifted off into another dream about Slash. I was eternally grateful for them.

&&&&&

It had been a month since I'd promised Slash I was done trying to kill myself. Since then, I'd kept true. Security on me had let up majorly. Slash was still worried, but that's just him. Slash loves to make a racket over me. This tour had actually been pretty okay. No one was divided over Slash and I this time. It was normal for once. Duff being our alcohol-guzzling voice of reason, Steven being cute for no reason, Izzy keeping mostly to himself. It was all normal.

"C'mere," Slash said. He took my hand, inviting me to the bunks. "I need you for a minute." I licked my lips, thinking that was what he wanted. Instead, he held out a box for me.

"What's this?" I raised an eyebrow, taking the box. "A present?"

"For being so good to your swear. You've been suicide free for a while." I took the lid off, finding a stuffed bear. It was about the size of my hand, brown and fuzzy all over. Nothing else special.

"Thanks," I said awkwardly.

Slash chuckled. "You don't get it, do you?"

"I really don't. It's a stuffed bear. There's nothing else special about it." I turned it over.

"Remember that arcade we went to? The impossible claw machine? I went back and played until I won. I won you that." I recalled getting so fucking annoyed at that claw machine. I cussed it out, kicking it, making a scene. I was asked to leave. Slash went back and won?

"Thanks, you fucking cheat." I threw it onto my bunk.

"Aren't you gonna name it?"

"Slash." I shrugged, putting my arms around his neck. "I'll call him Slash." I kissed him slowly. The way that he liked it.

Slash broke the kiss. "That's a good name for a bear. Where'd you get it from?" I slapped his arm, laughing a little. "What? What?" He looked around innocently. "What did I say?"

I buried my face in the crook of his neck. "This is why I love you. This is why I need you."

"You need me?" His fingers traveled down my sides. I hadn't meant it like that, but it had been a while. I could use a good railing. And if Slash was the one suggesting it, how could I possibly say no?

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Fin

Yikes this story was going somewhere and nowhere all at the same time

TWC: 21,033

Forever and always,
Davy fucking Jones