Sweet Agony (Slaxl)

XIX

Slash's POV:

Axl and I were both in our ruts again. He was bad for me, and I was bad for him. Since he'd let me give up on giving up drugs, I was shooting up for fun again. I wondered if he'd see me overdose. But he wasn't helping me much of anything at all. If I wasn't addicted to heroin, I was addicted to him. He would take my hand and drag me all over Los Angeles, and then we'd come home and fuck. After we fucked, I'd give him a bath. Then we'd drink, he'd pass out, I'd shoot up, and the cycle would repeat itself again the next day. 

I believed that the only thing worse than heroin was Axl. Mr. Brownstone could dance with me until he dropped, and then I'd move on to the next thing that caught my attention. I could give that up. Axl? I could never give him up. If I gave him up, he'd try to kill himself again. But I couldn't give him up for a much more selfish reason than that. I was smitten with him beyond belief. I couldn't get enough of anything about him. When he was passed out, I'd smell his clothes because his scent was the most intoxicating in the world. When he was sleeping, I'd watch him because it gave me peace. When he kissed me, the world starting spinning in the other direction. Nothing got me higher than watching his eyes fill with pleasure since I knew that I was returning the favor. He'd given me this bug, and I had it fucking bad. 

The worst thing about all of it was that we fed off of each other so much that we were inseparable. Duff figured out what was happening pretty quickly. He came over yesterday. I guess you should watch how it played out:

Duff knocked on the door. "What are you two crazy bastards doing?" He was angry, I could tell.

Axl was at the door with me, his arms around my waist. He rocked me side to side. That also helped to keep the fact that I was really rocking hidden. I was higher than the clouds. "Wassit look like?"

"You're high too! I sent Nikki over to fix this." He rubbed his temples, entering. "Axl, what've you done to this poor man?" He pointed to me.

"He did it all himself. I'm fine with it." Axl let me go, shrugging. I stumbled forwards a little bit. "We should get something to drink." He grabbed my hand to lead me to the kitchen, the hometown of alcohol around here, but was stopped by Duff. 

"You two are crazy. When are you gonna wake up and realize that this fever dream isn't reality? You're hurting each other! Slash! You fucking love Axl! How could you let yourself fall apart so easily at his hands?! And Axl! How dare you let Slash, a man so weak for you he'd blow the world up if you snapped your fingers, fall apart like this?!" The bassist threw his hands up in frustration. "I can't believe you two."

"Whatever, dude. You're the loser who can't have any fun," Axl remarked. Usually, I would've stuck up for Duff. He's like a brother to me. Right now though? I was so blinded, so deep under Axl's hypnosis, that I just didn't say anything at all. In that, I agreed with the singer. 

It was just another fucked-up Friday in this household. 

As our tales of decadence move along, I should warn you again. I'm an unreliable storyteller. I'm high, what the fuck do I know? Duff's words were swimming in my head. I was in love with Axl. If I was like this, how could I possibly be supporting him? I couldn't fucking leave him. It was way too difficult to get clean though.

I guess I'm the loser who can't stop having fun. The thought sickened me. "Ax, baby!" I called. He appeared in front of me quickly. "I love you," I told him.

"Love you, too," he smiled weakly. I was sitting on the floor, a syringe next to me. Axl pushed the rig out of his way while he perched himself on my lap. "Fuckin' love you." He buried his face in the crook of my neck. As I rubbed his back, my feelings disappeared. "You shot up again?"

"Needed a little boost. I was starting to feel light."

"You're gonna overdose. I can't take care of you when you're dead." I stroked his hair while he spoke his anxieties. "Can you take it easy with them?" Even Axl was worried about me. The thought made me want to laugh. I knew that the drugs pissed him off, but he was such a fucking hypocrite.

"Sure, if it makes you happy." I smiled at him. "If it keeps you around."

"Slash-" I shut him up with a kiss. I was tired of talking. It was about time that cycle started up again.

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A/N: filler I'm sorry this shit is falling apart but they're both just so toxic for each other