Sweet Agony (Slaxl)

XX

Axl's POV:

I tied a knot in a rope. I remembered how much I loved this the last time we were on tour. Now I get to do it again. Tensions within the band were higher than ever. It seemed that various people had taken sides over Slash and I. There were no sides to take, I loved him. It was that simple.

But that was just the problem. All I did was love him. But I never showed it. I didn't tell him that it bothered me when he was shooting up. I didn't tell him that I was scared if anything happened to him I'd kill myself. All I did was go out with him and fuck him. What a half-assed relationship this had become.

"What're you doing?" Slash asked. His hands were forward as though he was going to stop me. I couldn't exactly blame him, I did have a reputation with knots. "Are you gonna-?"

"What? No! Of course not!" I dropped the rope. "I'm perfectly fine." The veins in his arm were popping out, an indicator that he was intoxicated. "Are you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You've been shooting up more on tour than when we were at the house. It's getting on my nerves."

"I can shoot up whenever I want."

"It'd be better if you just chased the fucking dragon. At least then I wouldn't have to watch you bleed for something that can never return the favor!" I snapped, walking away from him. 

Slash went over to me. "Will you get back here? I didn't mean to-" 

I turned around. "Of course you didn't. You never did. You never do. And I hope you know that when I die, it was you that killed me." I left him standing there, open-mouthed. Unfortunately, Slash wasn't my only protector anymore. Duff also stopped me from leaving the bus. 

"What happened? Did you and Slash fight?"

"We're gonna fight. We're in a band together." I crossed my arms. "When do you even care what happens to us? I thought you were just trying to keep me alive so you got paid."

"You and I both know that's not true. The only reason I try to keep you and Slash away from each other is this. He's shooting up like crazy and you only want to kill yourself. I'm not thinking about the money. I've made enough to live a decent life and still never have to work a real job." Duff's expression softened. "You need to communicate with the man. He loves you, and you know that by now." 

"Why?"

Duff turned me around, forcing me back to the guitarist. I knew that he was right, and I hated that. I didn't like talking about all that mushy stuff. I was the man in this relationship. "Slash!" Duff called. "Axl has something that he'd like to tell you!"

Slash looked at me expectantly. "What is it?"

"It's nothing."

"And he can't tell you that it's nothing! That's a fucking lie!" Duff called back, damning me into this conversation lest I find another way to escape it. 

"It's fine if you don't wanna tell me. I'm used to it," Slash waved his hand dismissively. "Just tell me whenever you're ready."

I bit my lip. "Please give up the heroin," I whispered. "It makes me sick to see you so sick."

"I told you that it was fucking impossible."

"Please go to rehab then. Please get someone to help you detox. Please, Slash, baby." I grabbed his hand desperately. "I can't lose you. You're all I've got, and I need you to stay in my life. Please." The guitarist's eyes flashed with concern at my tone. I'd softened a lot to him. I was even letting myself slip up and be vulnerable right now. "I love you."

He kissed me, pulling me into this swept-up romance of his. "I love you," He whispered back. "I really do. I'll go. I'll go do whatever you ask. If it means that you won't wanna kill yourself, then I'll go and detox."

&&&&

Slash's POV:

I came home to Axl after a month of rehab. I wrote him a slew of letters every moment that I got, probably flooding the mail system. I'd missed him deeply, but I was very glad that he didn't have to see me sicker than I'd ever been. I was going to ask that man to marry me. I unlocked the front door, hoping to find the redhead waiting for me right there. 

He wasn't.

I walked through the the house, calling his name. "Axl!!!!" I shouted, hoping to get his attention. Where could he possibly be? "Axxlllll!!!" I called again and again. It wasn't until I got upstairs that I heard it. The sound of shower water. The dirty side of me was hoping to join him, but I knew that he was probably not actually showering. I entered the bathroom without knocking. I threw open the curtain to the shower, finding Axl sitting there. He was fully dressed, face in the water. He had his knees up to his chest as he sat on the floor, looking up. "Babe," I sighed, falling to my knees. "Babe, what're you doing?"

"Waiting," He sighed sadly. "Waiting to drown." I turned the water off. 

"C'mere. You need to come change clothes." I pulled on his arm. When I was in rehab, I was really hoping that was all Axl would need to get past this. I thought the thought of me staying around for good would help him. I guess that was just wishful thinking. "I missed you," I told him, kissing his hair while I dragged him off to my bedroom.

"I missed you a lot."

"Did you try to kill yourself a lot?"

"No."

"Was this the first time all month?"

"No."

"How many times?"

"Three."

I sighed. Three was a high number in this context. "Alright. At least you never succeeded. But I promise I'll be here from now on. I won't leave you, and I'll care for you forever. Because I love you."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I just can't stop no matter how hard I try." I shook my head. "I guess I always have."

"Always is a long time."

"I've loved you a long time. And it's not gonna stop, so buckle yourself in, hot shot." I smiled at him, pulling his pants down. "I hope you don't stop loving me back, either."

"I'll try."