Once Upon A Bet

/38/ Giving up

Dedicated to AlmostNice, thanks for the lovely, amazing support so far <333

It was pointless, I wouldn't be getting any sleep any time soon. I was just too off. My mind overdriving... But, for the first time in a while, my tossing and turning wasn't completely bad. The familiar bad thoughts keep poking up to drag my mood, my self-esteem, to choke me... but tonight Jake occupied a huge part of my thoughts.

His words were repeating over and over in my head, the way he looked at me, what it all mean. The kiss...

With a groan, I turned to my side, ignoring the fluttering in my guts as the vivid feeling of his lips on mine returned. Of how his hands traced my side, how addictive his embrace felt, how familiar, and safe and-

"Damn." I got into a sitting position, brushing my face but the dizziness didn't go away and his eyes returned my gaze under my lids. It was burned in my mind.

I glanced the hour in my phone and groaned when I saw it was almost three in the morning. I'd taken the sleeping pill few hours ago, but apart from making me dizzy the first couple hours, it hadn't worked. It didn't the nights I really had a lot on my mind.

Like now. I need to check the dose with Meryl when I saw her tomorrow.

The walls were closing around me, and not even the open window seemed enough. I was suffocating and melting in the heat. Sweat sliding down my back and neck. Disgusting. I got up and pick a towel, deciding to take a cold shower to try at least to solve the heat problem. I took a little more time than necessary under the water, trying to organize my mind, but I have been just as rushed as before if not more.

Damn it. Damn him. Damn me.

I tiptoed towards the kitchen, careful not to cause too much noise that might upset Fawn- but to my surprise my roommate was on the couch as I entered the living room. Lights were off and only the little one on the coffee table poured light. She was sitting cross-leg, his her elbows resting on her thighs and her head on her palms. My pulse halted for a second seeing her this... tense. Fawn was eccentric and maniacal, but she's also easy-going.

But as much as my first instinct was to step in and try to find what was wrong, my roommate was also someone who wouldn't like me interfering. While I took a minute to decide whether I should act on it or carefully retreat my path, her head turned this way and our eyes met.

"Oh, hey." I forced the loud beats of my heart to relax as I covered the distance nonchalantly. "Can't sleep?"

I immediately wanted to facepalm myself. Of course she couldn't sleep. That was what the whole thing was about, otherwise she would be soundly sleep in her own bedroom.

Her brows perked up. "Same as you, I guess."

"Uh, yes." I awkwardly fiddled with my hands, carefully thinking through my next words. "I got a lot in my mind."

"I bet." she grinned but it looked tense. So un-Fawn and my brows pursed.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Nah," she shrugged, raising one knee to her chest and hugged it. "Just a little stressed, as you said: can't sleep."

I hummed, knowing she was playing it down, but decided to respect it. After all, I was the best at avoiding talking about the sore topic. Yet I felt unease at her obvious distress. "I'm the best at dealing with insomnia. Hold on."

I walked pass the couch to the kitchen, where I was initially heading. I took the milk and a couple cups, filling them. Not in vane, I'd been dealing with sleepless night for far too long, even before the pills or theraphy, even before London, and I'd done my own research of several ways to induce oneself to sleep. After a couple minutes when the microwave went off I came back to the couch handing her one of the cups.