Rains drop falling while listening to Shreya Ghoshal's ghazal album 'Humnasheen' and crying. And trying to write this. Just to tell you guys about my addiction. I don't know, is this what I'm addicted to. But I think I am, and I should tell you guys that you shouldn't do what I did. So I've been addicted to S*x/porn/masturbation For four years. And still struggling with it. I am trying not to meet any new people or do masturbation. That's the one of the reason I stopped writing 'Melt Me' and reading erotica.
Whenever something bad happens to me I started to knock on people's doors (dming people) just to have me hurt me so I can escape from reality. At this age, I f*cked with no. Of people that I shouldn't. I remember how many but I can't recognize them. I do the same thing whenever I am free and bored. I hate myself for that.
But as I saw here. Even 12-year-olds reading smut or erotica that's not good for them. Without caring about heart relationship teenagers are more into casual hookups. No, I am not trying to say casual hookups are bad. doing it often like I did. It's brought nothing but sadness. You will lose control of your mind.
Just do things that are connected to your heart. And doing everything in excess, not good.
I think that's what I wanted to share with you guys. I hope you understand and this won't change your perception of me and our relationship.
Thank you so much for everything.
Hope you all liked my work.
Yours
sAa
22 September 2021
YOU ARE READING
I Hate Myself
ŞiirI am worse for your best. "I Hate Myself" is the second part of "I Don't Want Myself". A poetry collection in which I tried to portray my Pain, Love, and Problems.
