plan b

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The waves stopped crashing upon my shores
Soon after I stopped letting go

Because I need some control
If I'm to stay alive
Plotting my moves
Trying to predict my downfall

And as the sun rose I swallowed my pride
Tried to regurgitate it, but it never came out
It dissolved in my gut and set off a bomb
Detaching my soul from my skin in the blast

And my limbs were heavy,
But I was weightless
I was pale as a ghost,
I was feeling like death

The following days,
I made myself tea
I seasoned my food
I was anxious

But my body
It sung a familiar tune
An epic folk poem
Gruesome in nature

Like an overflowing trash bin
I let myself breathe
In the aftermath of victory after victory
I only feel fear

Fear of my breasts, fear of my face
Fear of myself
Because I keep walking the paths
That lead me here

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