I Want You to Want Me

Chapter Six: Magdalena

Author's Note: This chapter is very, very long. We have included several scene breaks for self care purposes.

Remus hardly remembered how he'd gotten back to the hotel. One moment he was out on the street, barely avoiding walking into walls and poles, then the next he was standing just inside the doorway of his room, for how long he couldn't tell. His mind was a crushing haze that pushed on him with a weight he couldn't escape.

Who had he been kidding? Did he really think he could buy love? That his money could in any way make up for what a fucking mess of a human he was?

The room's phone rang, scarcely a buzz that scratched his consciousness. Remus couldn't find it in himself to move. He let the machine get it.

"Good morning, Mr. Prince, we're calling to thank you for staying with us and to remind you that your checkout time is 11 a.m. tomorrow morning. If you would like to extend your stay, please let us know and we will be happy to help you. Have a good rest of your day!"

Oh. Right.

It really was the end, wasn't it? The last night with Jinx, the last day in the hotel.

He didn't even get to say goodbye. But that was his own damn fault, and if he could control himself for once in his goddamn life, he would never get the chance.

All of a sudden, it was like his organs were vibrating furiously inside him, anxious to get out and splatter themselves all over the room and paint the inoffensive beiges in a deep, rich red. He couldn't stand to be in that room a moment longer.

He grabbed the suitcase he'd bought on a whim a few weeks ago and started packing, not bothering to fold or stack anything neatly, tearing the cords and cables from the wall sockets and the garments from whatever furniture he'd haphazardly tossed them onto, shoving it all into the case. He threw down a few hundreds and scrawled a quick "Thanks" to the room service person, grabbed his stuff, and left.

As much as he wanted to just get out of the building and never look back again, he did his best not to snap at the front desk attendant as she helped him check out. She was only doing her job and probably had to deal with assholes all day. He slipped her a couple hundreds with a mumbled thanks the moment he was free, before practically sprinting through the shiny rotating glass doors and out onto the street, barrelling into the first available cab he saw. With nowhere else to go, he gave the address to the one place he'd been avoiding for the past three months.

It was time to go home.

Remus' phone had about five percent left in it when he stepped out of the taxi and onto the pathway leading to the duplex. He fished his keys out of his pockets and unlocked the door to his side, half-expecting to see Roman sleeping on his couch again, if not the whole gaggle of boyfriends.

Instead, the house was quiet. Of course it was. Roman was probably already on his annual summer retreat with Virgil and Patton, leaving Remus alone in an empty house; empty like the bed he had left this morning; empty like the cavity in his chest. At least he wasn't the fourth wheel on a tricycle...again. The trio had a habit of dragging him along to keep an eye on him. They always claimed it was because they wanted him there, but he knew it was because they were afraid of what he would do if left without supervision.

He guessed they had finally given up on him now.

Remus went up into his bedroom, flinging his suitcase onto his bed. Someone had changed the sheets since he'd been gone.

Click, click went the latches, and up sprang the top. Remus dug through the layers, frustratedly pulling at the tangles of cloth and fabric to find his phone cable. A hard tug on a sleeve or a pant leg yanked the bundle open, revealing the obstruction they'd been caught on.