I Want You to Want Me

Chapter Eight: Fly Me To The Moon (Final Moments Part Two)

One fine evening in the middle of their final month together, Remus was sitting with Logan in the corner of the hallway.

Logan had approached him with his laptop tucked under one arm and a folding chair under the other. He set the laptop down on the little table Remy had provided for Remus' overnight watch, and it took up almost the entire surface. There was hardly enough room for another chair, so Remus insisted on being on the outside so he could easily do his rounds, leaving Logan squished between him and the wall. Logan gave him a confused look that bordered on disappointment when he scooted away to give him more space, so he shifted back again. This arrangement had them right up against each other, and Remus could feel every shift and movement Logan made. Even right up next to the dancer, Remus was left with only a few inches of table, just enough to fit his phone.

"You don't have to keep doing this, you know," Remus said after a few minutes of silence. "Keeping me company. It can't be comfortable getting smushed against the wall for hours."

Logan looked at him with those piercing, blue eyes. One corner of his lips quirked up in a slight smirk. "It's no problem, I assure you. The enjoyment I receive from spending time with you far outranks any discomfort I experience."

"Don't let Janus hear you say that," Remus replied.

"Hmm." Logan adopted a thoughtful, almost teasing expression. "Perhaps you are correct. Janus can be rather clingy and he would likely use such statements against me."

It wasn't exactly what Remus had meant, but he didn't argue. As long as he and Logan didn't acknowledge it, he could almost pretend Logan loved and wanted him. For a little while, Remus could pretend that Logan's agreement to stay by his side, despite the uncomfortable position, was purely out of adoration and not because he was testing the bounds of what he would be comfortable doing for Janus. But, eventually, Remus had to remind himself of the truth.

"He's gonna be a great lawyer, I can already tell," he said instead. Best to get the conversation focused on someone Logan actually wanted to talk about.

That same, soft smile Logan always had when they talked about Janus appeared again. "Yes. He will."

It was only recently that Remus had learned so much about these two people who so fascinated him. Logan was paying off his business school loans by bookkeeping for the club, a job he'd gotten through Janus, and only started stripping in addition because it paid so well. Janus, who had put himself through law school, now had an internship at a law firm and had been dancing for years before he'd met Logan. They'd been in talks for a while with Remy to buy the club to convert it into a law office for Janus' future business, which Logan would help run. However, due to the current situation, that timeline had accelerated really, really quickly. Each and every thing he learned about these two men only made him more sure about his decision to keep them at arm's length. They deserved so much more than a wealthy fuck boy with no passion.

Remus was disappointed in himself. While he remained steadfast in his refusal to accept Janus and Logan's services, he still felt that ravenous hunger for knowledge about them. He wanted to know everything: what they liked, what they disliked, what they thought about any and every subject. Any scrap of information they offered freely, he greedily devoured, knowing he shouldn't crave it. Knowing he didn't deserve it.

He was about to ask Logan what he was working on when he heard stomping down the hall. Remus turned, ready to leap out of his seat in case it was Junior Jumble, only to see a disgruntled Janus harrumphing down at him and Logan with an exaggerated frown. Remus' eyes jumped between the two dancers who were apparently having a staring contest.

It struck him once more how well they seemed to communicate without needing words, and in this case with only the expressions on their faces. Remus longed to know them both so well, if only so he could know if he was the problem here.