Darker And Colder

1.10: The Interviews

Chapter 10
Katniss's POV

This morning my prep team are very emotional. By the end, it's just Venia rushing to keep up without the other two.

Eventually Cinna turns up and dismisses her.

He brings in a white dress.

A Wedding dress.

Finally I can't take it anymore. I break down.

♤♤♤

Peeta's POV

I find it hard to act normal when Portia hands me my Interview Outfit. It's the sort of outfit people in the capitol wear for weddings.

"President Snow requested it, and though we tried we could not change his mind," Portia tells me. She gives me a sad look.

"It's fine," I say. "I mean, it's such an impressive outfit. There's nothing like that back in District 12." I try to smile. I don't want to cause any of these people pain.

♤♤♤

Soon I am sitting in my chair along with 23 others. Caesar brings the Victors up one by one, and most people have the same strategy: make the Capitol citizens hate the idea of the Games.

Each tribute that appears in on whatever it is says how the capitol is their family, president snow is all powerful and amazing, they love the people so much and they all seem to beg the same thing- stop the Games.

When Katniss goes up everyone is in tears and Caesar is struggling to hold them back from being so loud.

I notice for the first time Katniss in her wedding dress.

It pains me to see. And it is hard to tell, but Cinna has made the dress larger to fit her growing stomach.

After around two minutes, Caesar appears to have managed to say, "So, Katniss, obviously this is an emotional night for everyone. Is there anything you would like to say?"

She smiles. "Only that I'm so sorry you won't get to be at my wedding... but I'm glad you at least get to see me in my dress. Isn't it just... the most beautiful thing?"

Then she gets up to show it to the crowd. I smile.

But then as she starts twirling my heart stops. She is enveloped by fire.

The crowd gasps. I want to run and help her, but the guards see me, obviously anticipating my next move, and I know that I have to stay seated.

After a few seconds the fire begins to die down and reveals the same dress, but in black, and when she lifts her arms, there are two wings. Black with a white tip. She has been turned into a Mockingjay.

The audience breaks into a great applause, and amongst all the noise you can just make out the buzzer going. Katniss walks back to her seat and I get up. I'm so terrified by what I'm about to do that I can't bring myself to make eye contact with her.

I arrive at the chair and sit down.

Caesar begins to talk. "Wow, well that was a very impressive show."

"Yeah. It, um... it kind of reminded me of the first time I helped my mom cook."

"Really? Well we've all over cooked things before."

"Although I have to admit the bird I cooked definitely didn't have feathers after I burnt it." We laugh, but I think he has caught on that I have something I want to say.

"So, Peeta, what was it like when, after all you've been through, you found out about the Quell?" asks Caesar.

"I was in shock. I mean, one minute I'm seeing Katniss look so beautiful in all these wedding gowns, and the next..."

"You realised there was never going to be a wedding?"

I want to say it. I need to. It will help us in the games if I say it. Maybe even stop them. At least it might bring Katniss out of the games.

I want it to be secret and there are so many consequences of saying it. Everyone will know. My parents. Katniss's Mother. Prim. Gale.

And I can't hurt Katniss. I have done that enough already.

But there is still the hope there that it might stop the games, so without knowing, I start saying, "Caesar, do you think all our friends here can keep a secret?"

Stop.

"I feel quite certain of it."

I need to stop.

"We're already married."

I didn't stop. I need to. I can't tell them. I can't hurt her.

Caesar seems baffled. "But... how can that be?"

I can't help it, I need to protect us. I will apologize later.

"Well, it isn't exactly official. In twelve we have a sort of ritual, we um... get bread, toast it over a fire together... and if I'm honest," I look up to Katniss, trying to make sure I know I haven't hurt her yet. She smiles to me through tears. I look back to the crowd, "I feel closer to her than any Capitol wedding or slip of paper or party could make me. Of course it was just us, I mean, Katniss's mother would not have agreed but... I guess we just wanted to be together as much as possible."

The audience looks teary.

"So this was before the Quell?"

"Of course!" I begin to get annoyed. I'm good at speaking in front of audiences normally, but now I just want it to be over. I don't want to just relive the pain. I want that to be a happy memory.

But there is no chance for that.

I continue, "Of course, I mean, if we knew we wouldn't have done it. We went through all this and just wanted some peace, which we found in each other. Nobody saw this coming, if we had..."

Caesar tries to console me. "I agree, nobody could have foreseen this... but at least you have had a few happy months together."

"I wish we had waited, done the whole thing officially."

"Surely a brief time is better than none?"

"Maybe I would agree with you," I say. I might as well finish this. It's the best possibility of protection I can give her.

"If it weren't for the baby."

And even though I had planned this anyway as a lie to protect her, I know now that it is true.