Darker And Colder

3.11: District 8

TW FOR THIS CHAPTER: NON-DETAILED IMPLICATION OF RPE, + NON-DETAILED DESC OF SA. PROCEED WITH CAUTION

Chapter 43
Peeta's POV

I admit, after Haymitch told me about Willow, I snapped.

I don't sleep that night. Instead, I spend it staring at the piece of paper that has my signature on it. Why would I sign that? Why would I sign it if I didn't love her?

I want to love someone. I want Willow to be mine. And I do, and she is. But neither of them are quite right. Why with Katniss? It fits, just in a way I didn't expect. I do remember that in 12 I never really talked to her before the games. She was just this random person I knew. Sometimes I saw around school. I wasn't special to her, but I have a lot of memories where I just find myself staring at her. And a dandelion.

In the morning, I ask to see her again, but she is apparently filming some stupid Propo or something.

I am given Willow to take care of, though. It feels different knowing who the parents are. She doesn't have dark hair; she has Katniss's dark hair. Katniss's olive skin. My blue eyes. She is a mix of me and Katniss- and she is beautiful.

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Katniss's POV

The hovercraft ride feels like the longest one ever. Longer than either trip to the games. Longer than the one from the games to 13. Longer than the one to 12.

It isn't the actual journey that makes it wrong, I don't think. It's what Peeta said. And what he might say if Haymitch or Plutarch has told him the truth about Willow. For once I wish Haymitch would actually talk to me through the goddamned earpiece.

Since it has been a month since the 'Accident', Gale has been allowed back in the group. They aren't even keeping an eye on him- he's off the hook now. Despite nearly killing Peeta and speeding up the Hijacking.

He doesn't talk to me on the hovercraft at least, but I can feel his eyes resting on me. It makes me uncomfortable.

When we finally land, the first thing we see is the large warehouses. We are in eight, Plutarch said. Cressida and Messalla lead on to the building. Inside, some person from Eight greets us. She talks but I don't listen to what she's saying. It doesn't seem important to me. Boggs holds the door open, allowing me to walk through it, which I do.

The sight in front of me is not what I expected; I had thought maybe it would be workers, some rebel recruits to meet with. But no- what I see is rows and rows of beds. All full of people. Everything seems to be covered in mould and fungus and a layer of old blood. It smells of rot and stale and something that makes me want to puke. Sounds of crying, goodbyes and lost hope echo around my head. There is a bad taste in my mouth- metallic like blood, a little vomit-like. Maybe I am going to puke.

Someone notices me though. A young boy. He tugs at a lady's dress- she looks like his Mom or sister maybe. When she sees me, she instantly says "Katniss?"

This makes everyone's head turn. Instead of crying, you can hear a couple whispers of "It's Katniss Everdeen", but the room is quickly turned to silence. "Katniss," one girl says. She looks about 12. She probably would've been in the reaping for the last games if it hadn't been the quell. "Are you here to help us?"

I nod. "Yes, I'm here to help... If I can."

Someone takes my hand. An elderly man. With his right hand, he makes the three-fingered salute. Just about everyone copies him- even the camera crew.

A fifteen year old looking girl comes up to me. "What happened to the baby?" She asks.

I try to give a small smile. "I... I lost him. The doctors couldn't... um, they couldn't save him." That's all I'm supposed to say, but I trust this girl. Someone should know. I lean crouch down and say in a quiet voice, "But there was another. Willow. She's safe. Thank you." She smiles back at me. I's nice to think some person I don't even know has faith in me. More faith than I have.

She sees the scars on my arm, too I think. "It'll be okay," she says. "Stay strong, don't hurt yourself again."

I pull my sleeve down again and whisper, "Thank you," in a small voice.

I talk to many people, answering their questions. Nobody told me to do this, but the crew follow me around filming it and talking anyway. The people are all really nice, and I feel a pang of guilt to my heart knowing that they can't be saved without Capitol or 13 medicine, and neither Coin or Snow would help these people.

When I have worked my way around, I think someone noticed I was getting a little emotional and so Mitchell leads me out. He's kind of funny and nice so I don't object to being stuck outside with him. He attempts at a joke, which I try and laugh to. Eventually Gale comes out. Mitchell stands and walks off to talk to him, but Gale must have some reason to be here because Mitchell leaves and Gale sits next to me. "It's disgusting, how he leaves so many people injured. The sooner we kill Snow the better." I don't respond. It is disgusting, and I want to kill Snow, but Gale doesn't understand how bad it is.

It isn't just the Capitol being the Capitol- this is worse. It's bad enough that so many people are injured, but they aren't even sending anyone to help them. They are all just being kept in this inhumane building, treated not even as well as livestock. They are just left to die.

"It's horrible," I say.

He looks at me. "We, uh, haven't talked in a while... do you think we could give another shot at being friends?"

I shoot him a look. "People are dying and that's what you're worried about? After you beat up my best friend?"

"No, I wasn't -and that was to protect you- but they don't exactly have long anyway."

Disgusted, I leave.

The camera crew are all waiting back at the hovercraft. They must have already got some stuff. We board and leave, having spread what little hope we can.

On the craft Gale apologises, and eventually I forgive him. I've been thinking of Peeta so much that I wasn't focusing on this sort of thing either. Actually having friends. And I'm sure Gale was just trying to help, even if it ended up like that. We've all made mistakes, why shouldn't he be allowed to?

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Almost as soon as we are back, Coin calls a meeting. There is a little fuss, but she gets to the point.

"Unfortunately, the hospital you visited earlier was bombed by the Capitol."

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After the speech, multiple people notice how shaken I am.

Haymitch is just about to talk to me when Gale leads me out of the room. "Hey, come to my compartment. People will just harass you at yours." I nod.

When we get to Gale's, he makes me a drink and I sit down on his bed, because it's the only seat in the room. He comes over with his own drink.

"Look, I'm sorry for the way I acted," he says. "I shouldn't have done that, I know you're in love with Peeta. I just didn't want him to hurt you."

"Peeta wouldn't hurt me," I respond.

"He won't now," Gale says, "And I won't let anyone hurt you now we're friends. Okay?"

And then his lips go to mine. I am so startled that I drop my drink. Although, I didn't have the best grip on it with my shaking hands anyway. I try to push away, but Gale doesn't let me. His hands slide to my back and then to my hips. I gasp and try to pull him off me, but he just pushes me down harder. I claw at him, try to yell at him to stop. But he just keeps kissing me, and I find it harder to breathe with his lips pressed to mine. Nothing stops him. Not from kissing me, from pushing me down, from unbuttoning my shirt.

And I'm too scared to yell. I try, but nothing happens.
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