Brotherhood

Chapter 31 - Changing Loyalties

Siri doesn't really know how to feel anymore. It's barely been two months since the war started, and her entire life seems to have been turned upside down. She can't even say what the biggest shock has been for her. Her Padawan, Ferus, was knighted immediately after the Battle of Geonosis, which led to her getting the rank of Jedi Master. Then, she was offered – and accepted – a seat on the Council, which is something she's still getting used to. Of all the Jedi, why did they pick her? She has no answer for that.

If that wasn't enough, her long-time friend was captured by the Sith – she knows that Anakin is a Sith, much as he might try to hide it, because how else could he be so powerful in the Dark Side? Siri might be a Jedi, but she still feared greatly for Obi-Wan's fate as well as that of his Padawan, Ahsoka. At least she finally has her answers, much as she might dislike hearing the truth.

Slowly, she inhales, trying to release her conflicting emotions to the Force. While she and Obi-Wan have been friends since they were young, they haven't been on the best terms for the past many years. When the Council rejected Anakin for training, Obi-Wan was livid. She can't remember a time he was more furious, and over the years, his attitude grew increasingly bitter and resentful. She can no longer count the number of times she chided him for his hostile remarks towards the Council, and it had begun to worry her. She feared that he might choose to leave the Order once more, not that she could blame him.

Siri is willing to admit that she also opposed the decision to refuse Anakin training. Though she didn't meet him, Obi-Wan told her of his strength. Perhaps if the Council had made a different choice none of them would be in this situation now. She had blamed Obi-Wan for his choices after Melida/Daan, when he left the Order to help the people on the planet. Though she'd eventually forgiven him, there was a part of her which, she thinks, was always a bit resentful. After everything they'd been through, after all the struggles Obi-Wan had faced in his fight to become a Jedi Knight – a fight in which she'd whole-heartedly supported him – he had chosen to cast it all aside as though it meant nothing. And now, he's done it again.

There is no emotion, there is peace, she recites silently. She needs to let go of her attachment to him. Even though she told him years ago that she wouldn't look back on the relationship they could have had... it's not been that easy. There have been times – many times – when she longs to touch him the way they once had. She's still in love with him, even after all this time, though she's been trying ardently to ignore that fact.

It is going to hurt when they inevitably end up facing off across the battlefield. Maybe if she was stronger, maybe if Obi-Wan was less sworn to duty, they could leave and run away together. Siri doesn't want to fight in a war; this is not who she was trained to be. In her youth, she was impulsive and reckless, attributes which lessened with time as she learned patience and calm. She was trained to be a peacekeeper, to negotiate with opposing parties. She wasn't meant to be a warrior, a general, but she has no choice. Someone has to protect the Republic, and all the Jedi must do their duty.

Her thoughts wander to Shmi, with whom she'd spoken scarcely more than a week ago. Overall, the woman seemed pleasant and kind-hearted, but Siri is certain that she's hiding something. What or how important it is, is a whole other matter, and without concrete evidence, there's nothing she can do about it. Likely, Shmi is only trying to protect Anakin, something Siri can understand, but with the future of the Republic at stake, she's willing to sacrifice a few people – even Obi-Wan – if it means that peace will be restored once more.

"General, the Jedi Council has contacted us. They wish to speak with you." Commander Cody's voice breaks into her internal monologue, and she turns towards him.

"Thank you, Commander," Siri replies, heading towards the comm center in the Star Destroyer. She has no doubt that they want to discuss the most recent broadcast and what type of response they should give. Truthfully, she doesn't even know what they could say without sounding defensive and as if they're trying to hide something or deny the truth.