OFFERNAGE [EDITING]

Rusty Playgrounds

Korah

My eyes pour water nonstop till I boarded a bus. Everyone who saw me,looked at me with sympathy but I didn't seem to notice all that.

My eyes stings from crying that my vision turned blur. I sat close to the window,letting the breeze calm my face and dry up my tears. It really hurts in various ways combined.

I feel like I am been chased even before I get a chance to enter. It is all his choice and I can't change that,I just have to accept It.

"Welcome Korah". Ma Diane replied after I greeted.
"Bernard came around, asking of you".

"Bernard? When did he leave?"

"Umm..like five minutes ago,thought you saw him on the way". Ma Diane explains.
"No..I didn't. I'll try checking around". Me and Bernard have a road we usually pass,saying it's shorter to wherever you are going.

I quickly put on one of my sneakers and hurried out to catch up with him.
Deciding to pass the backyard where the playground is, I spot Bernard riding on one of the swings slowly.
I smile,walking to meet him.

I sigh softly, seating on the swing close to him. "Look who wants to be a child again". I joke.

Bernard chuckles,turning to face me. "Oh..Korah,you don't look too good. What's wrong?".

I let out a big smile. "I'm just a bit tired,that's all".

He shakes his head in disagreement. "Stop lying,its all over your face.."
I blow out my cheeks. "Bernard, you know it's kind of weird talking about a boy I like here in this playground. This is the same playground we all played and didn't worry about anything".

"Yes..that's why we grow. It's called growth".

"Yeah..you're right". I look up to the clouds then down to my feet. "I think I got rejected,Bernard".

He stood up to face me,standing in front of me while I still stare down at my feet. "He doesn't want to have anything to do with me".

"Hey..look at me". Bernard slowly raise my head,cupping my checks in his hands. I try to fight back the tears forming in my eyes.

"I don't know either. It's all just so sudden". I lament,blinking my eyes as drops of water fall from my face.

"Don't blame yourself Korah. Your heart doesn't just do what you wants most times". Bernard said in a low voice,yet loud enough for me to hear.

He wipes the tears from my eyes slowly.

"The painful thing is, you can't force anyone to love you. It's all the heart doing".

I nod with my face still in his hands. "I'll be okay"

"I hate to see you this way,makes me want to beat the hell out of him". Bernard said.
I giggle,taking his hands from my face. "Trust me Bernard,Trevor's face is luring you wouldn't even want to slap him".

Bernard arch his brows in disgust,standing akimbo. "Korah, let me tell you now. I. Am. Straight".

I found myself laughing loudly. "Come on,I'm serious".
"Well...I also have a cute face so he too might not want to beat me". Bernard boosts.

I stood,running few feet back. "I doubt".
I know Bernard would chase me for what I said.

We ran around the playground till we both got tired. I feel better have someone to talk and play with.
Even though I am still hurt and can't forget what happened, I am a bit relieved...

Bernard is like a big brother to me. When we were younger,he would literally beat anyone who try to mess with me. Although,he ends up getting beaten too,he would be happy he stood for me.
I am forever grateful because to me,it's the little things that matter.

Girls in elementary school would come close to me just because of Bernard. He is quite attractive.

I entered to change clothes and bounce on my puffy bed. My eyes probably swollen from crying.

I pray I sleep this night.

Overing my head under the duvet,I close my eyes tightly. I can't look at Trevor tomorrow,not after crying in front of him.
I would request to change classes if possible but since I can't, I'll just bear with it.

Unable to sleep,I brought out one of my literature books to read. I read it thoroughly and didn't understand a thing. Is this what it means to go through a heart break?

***

I woke up one hour before my alarm rang. It feels like I've been sleeping for days since the hours decided to run slow.

"You can't force anyone to love you".

Bernard's words stick to my head,making me accept reluctantly that what is meant to be,will be no matter what.

I put on my neatly ironed uniform and stared at myself in the mirror. Something crossed my mind as I harshly look for a book and pen,writing some lines down.

Yep! I write songs.

Gazing now at what I've written,I saw it's something relating to been sad. I am not sad!

I am somehow sad.

I shove the book inside my bag,exhaling sharply.
My room definitely need some cleaning. I brought out the hair driver I found under the bed to check If its still working fine.

Trying it on my curly hair,it slips down perfectly. I think I'll just go straight for awhile. After all,there is time.

I straighten my hair which fall smoothly to my back. Noticing the length,I figured out how long my hair has grown.

"I'll get going to school now". I shouted to Ma Diane and her assistants as they cook together.
"What about breakfast? Its just 6:30am". One of her assistants shouted back.

"I'm not hungry". I said,flipping my hair from my face. It appears to touch my waist line after been straightened.
"Okay..just take this along". Ma Diane toss some sandwiches to me in a cute lunch box.

"Thanks". I smile,giving her a hug.
"You look nice by the way,your hairstyle suits you". She said,stroking my hair gently.

"Thanks,just wanted to try something new". I comment, going out.