Tormented✓

Chapter 11

"Can't sleep?" He asks.

He insists that she has to sleep on his bed again. After today's incident, she was trapped in his room again. She wakes up in the afternoon after her unconscious state. They aren't talking at all, even when they eat dinner.

She still remembers the incident. How the man's eyes holding at hers, begging her to let him out but in the end, the man dies in her arms. The begging eyes suddenly become blank eyes with no soul.

Her mind can't help to keep projecting the image of the dead man. This is the first time she watches someone die, even more, it is because of murder. She can't shake the feeling to be scared of him again. Today, even after she prays to God, her scared mind still takes over. There are a lot of reasons to be scared of him and she can't let it out like she usually does.

Today's experience shocked her. She keeps resisting the memory and tries to search for some verse to keep ruling her mind. For the rest of the afternoon, she locked herself in his bathroom and seek God to let her mind rest. For her in the presence of her God is like taking drugs, she will feel high and forget about anything. But not like drugs, speaking to God is permanent, because she knows how to act and how to feel after that.

Right now they laying side to side on his bed. She knows that he will try to get close to her again. He is aware that she was scared of him. For the first time he tries to break the silence, he opens the conversation first after the incident. She keeps silent and doesn't answer him. She tries to shorten her feelings first before speaking to him.

"Yes, you can't sleep either?" She questions back.

He is glad that she still tries to speak to him. He just hopes that this means he still has a chance to be on her side again.

"I never sleep if I don't eat sleeping pills." He answers truthfully.

"Are you still remembering the dying man today? I can't sleep because of that." She tries to reason and opens a conversation about today's incident. She is curious and wants to know why the man was held captive and killed.

"I get used to killing and it doesn't bother me anymore. Watching someone die with my hands, I get used to it. But it's normal to keep replying to the scene in your head for the first time watching something like that. I keep remembering the dead body the first time I'm murdering someone. Until now I still remember it clearly, but after a few times murdering someone the image of them doesn't replay in my mind again." He answers.

"Why do you kill him?" She asks.

"No reason, besides he deserves to be killed after something evil he has done." He says and keeps the real reason to himself.

"Are you not feeling guilty at all?" She asks braving herself to look at him.

"As I told you, nope. I get used to it Bambina." He answers with honesty in his eyes.

"Can I ask why you capture him?" She asks hesitantly.

"He owes me a big money for his drugs." He answers. He tries to be transparent with her.

"Is it worth it to kill him? In the end, you don't get your money and need to take care of him. Don't you care about his family worrying about him?" She says with a trembling voice. She tries not to cry again. But she can't hold it back when she thinks about his family worrying about him and the point that he dies because of drugs.

"Believe me, little girl, a man like us, doesn't have anything to come back to. His family doesn't care about him, because they're drugs addict like him. He doesn't have hope, sooner or later he will die because of an overdose." He says, getting up from the bed.

He needs his whiskey; he knows today's conversation will get on his nerves. He needs to relax, if he doesn't promise her to not smoke again he'll do it right now. Cigarettes help him relax faster than alcohol.

"You're wrong." She says with determination in her voice. She knows more than anything that everybody has second chances, they just don't know how to reorganize their life to be better.

"I know if I give you two choices, to be like the way you're now, or live successfully like normal people, and have something to be fighting for. You'll choose the second option." She looks into his eyes to get some truth from them. He nods his head while piercing her eyes.

"I know the way out. If you let me show it, you can get out of this dark life and live happily." She says.

"It's too late Bambina. I fell too deep to get out of it. Even if I can really get out, which I doubted, I don't know how to start to live a life like others. People and government will haunt me down and maybe I'll live the rest of my life in jail." He says and finished his third glass of whiskey.

"You're not too late. I promise. Do you want to hear some stories about someone like you and finally have their own happiness?" She asks, hoping he will say yes.

He gets out from the sofa and walks to the bed. He lies beside her and faces her side. He is willing to hear everything that comes out of her soft voice.

"I think you're not as bad as Zacchaeus. Or maybe you're not as cruel as Saul. Do you ever hear about them?" She asks and he just looks at her small face and is deeply intrigued by her stories.

"Zacchaeus is a tax collector, same as you maybe. He charged a lot of money from people and pressures them, I think he is just like the Mafia if he lives in these modern days. Besides that he's not as handsome and perfect as you, he has a small body. He is a dwarf. Nobody in the village like him, besides a bad attitude pressing them for tax, he excludes by the villagers." She says and giggles at her imagination about him being Zacchaeus.

"Maybe he feels the world wronged him, or maybe he feels the same as you. It's too late for him to be a good person because the villagers already hate him and nobody will love his tiny body. But one day, he heard about someone who can form a miracle. He is curious about him, and I think deep down he wants some miracles for himself."

"Because of the crowd, he needs to climb a tree to see the man. Because of his curiosity and his faith that man can do miracles, he is noticed by the man. The man asks him if he can eat at his place. Zacchaeus was shocked by the questions. Nobody wants to eat with him. After all, he's the bad guy, and people are scared of him. He feels awed that somebody wants to be friends with him. Even when people start whispering about them, the man still insists to come to his place. The man says that he comes and does miracles not for the righteous man but for the sinful man. After they eat, Zacchaeus feels hope for the first time. He wants to be a good person, so he says to the villagers that he will return the money four times more than the money he took."

"Sometimes have money power and everything that doesn't mean they will happy. If you really want to be happy, you can fight for it." She ended it with a smile. She hopes she can give him hope.

"But my sins are greater, I'm a murderer."