(Completed Jenlisa)
Lisa and Jennie, have been in love with each other for so long as the courage comes out of the Thai, to propose to her girlfriend in front of everyone. Frustration creeps on Jennie as she finds herself falling out of love with he...
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Jennie
Ever since that little date, I found myself questioning my marriage. Why did the simple thought of being someone's home frighten me?
When we first got together, butterflies were the constant rush of excitement in my stomach. Lisa made me feel alive, in no way no man or woman ever has. The thrill of finding safety, chasing sunsets, and falling in love with life all over again.
Now, I've been overthinking her words. The pressure and the heaviness of her sincerity made me feel like I've been lacking.
What made her see a home in me?
What makes you think she isn't home, Jennie?
A soft sigh escapes Lisa, who sat down beside me on the couch. She brought popcorn with her from the kitchen and started munching on it. I snorted a laugh, as she spoke, "You know Jen, I've gotten a job promotion today, in another city".
A movie started playing on the TV screen, I hummed in my spot, "Out of Seoul?".
I turned to look at her, and she nodded with a mouth full of popcorn. The sight was cute—I gently smiled at her, although a part of me wanted to ignore the voice inside of me that told me this was nothing ideal, nothing to smile about.
Lisa leaned her body closer to mine and wrapped an arm around me. In the start, I hesitated with leaning closer—but my body had an opinion of its own.
I found myself leaning on her chest, my head resting just below her jaw. I sighed heavily, as Lisa muttered, "Yes, out of Seoul. The offer is tempting, but I don't think I will be able to take it. Especially, with Ella, I want to spend more time with her".
"How about me?". I spoke like a little baby, who liked being babied by her.
Lisa placed the bowl of popcorn on the side, before handling me. "Baby?". Somewhere I melted, but decided to just make myself comfortable by hugging her—Her chest moved in a movement that indicated that she was adjusting herself to be softer with me.
I didn't answer.
"Are you upset over me saying that I want to spend more time with Ella?".
That wasn't even the case, Lisa.
Was what I wish I was able to whisper, to breathe out, but instead, I lingered on holding on, holding her, and feeling her. She wrapped her arms around me fully, and rubbed circles on my arm, "You know being here with you is the only thing I've ever wanted".
The sound of her breathing calmed my blues. Yet, ruined the edges of the brush I used when it came to loving her.
"Ella is my bright little sunshine, just like you—you both hold the light to my life, although I would like to think you're my moon, Jen".
Her words made me want to cry.
Softly.
How does it feel like to cry in the arms of your lover? Knowing you're both happy but a part of you is itching to flee? To be alone.
