Favorite Crime

12. almost is good enough, hon (finale).

Jennie

One Month later.

To my surprise, Lisa was home. sitting in our living room with her elbows resting on her knees, as she held her head with her palms while staring at the TV screen.

Nervously, I enter the living room, shocked to see her there.

When her eyes look up at me, I speak up, "Ella is out with Chaeyoung and Jisoo, they promised to buy her the toys she wanted".

Lisa nods, "I'm aware, but I wasn't here for her".

I didn't know whether to panic or be glad that she was here, looking into my eyes while quietly and calmly speaking, "I came here to speak with you, Jennie".

My heart started picking up a pace, she patted the couch and told me to have a seat beside her.

With no hesitation this time, I did as told. I was so good at hiding my nervousness, and I didn't know if she could tell, but I was hoping she doesn't.

"How have you been?".

I parted my lips, stunned.

"I'm alright, you?". That's all I was able to answer and manage to ask.

"Certainly there". She looked down at her palms.

When her gaze lingered on me this time, she was hesitant, but this quiet Lisa wasn't something I'm used to.

"Jennie?".

"Yeah?".

"Do you want a divorce?".

Just like that, my world collapses as my head spins. A life without her? Without Lisa? As stubborn as I've always been, I couldn't imagine a life without her. And what's the moral idea of divorce? Would we divorce because it wasn't working out or is it due to us being too stubborn to see how we feel about one another?

Could her being out of love, the case?

"No". I said in a whisper.

"Then what do you want?". Lisa was frustrated but didn't show it much.

"In the start, I wasn't sure, but now it's different, Lisa. I.. I don't think divorce can solve anything". I bit back an emotional sob. I stood my ground, and avoided crying or seeming weak beside her, "I don't want a divorce".

With sad eyes, Lisa asked me, "Why stay with someone you no longer love then?".

In an almost defensive manner, I asked her back, "Are you happy with her?".

Two questions, each with different answers, a dimensional situation was supposed to be "We are meant to be together", but neither any of us said anything, for a few moments. We just stared at each other.

Lisa sighs heavily, "Who are you talking about?".

My silence answered her.

Her lips parted, "Oh? Are you talking about Niki?".

"Whoever she is".

"She's my middle school friend, Jennie".

Almost like her answer made me sigh in relief.

Lisa then speaks, with determination in her voice, "You didn't answer me".

I swallowed hard. It's now or never, "Lisa, I've hurt you a lot. And it's okay if you never want to see me again, but as selfish as it sounds, I can't stand not having you with me, I don't want to lose you, or spend any more time away from you".

I was vulnerable, "It's killing me".

The shock was evident on her face, and neither did I expect her to answer or say anything back. I shifted in my spot uncomfortably, as she sat next to me, too quiet, "Our daughter misses you".

"And you?".

Her raspy voice questions.

At this moment, I felt like crumbling.

She asked again, "Do you miss me, Jennie?".

I couldn't hold back the emotions inside of me anymore, I wrapped my arms around her neck and engulfed her in a hug, with tears streaming down my face, recklessly. "I missed you more than anything, baby".

When I pulled away, the melancholy in her eyes greeted me, as she asks above a whisper, "But, you don't love me anymore, J-Jennie".

I gulped hard,  "Not loving you is an absurd fear".

"Why is that?".

"As much as how you've always feared getting your heart broken, I feared being left behind, being abandoned". I admitted my deepest fears, "I assumed leaving sooner would be for the best. But, I was wrong".

I was so vulnerable, "So wrong".

Gently, Lisa grabs my hands and holds them in hers. Her eyes hold me down in the tenderest ways—as our souls incarnated together.

"Are you willing to stay, Lisa?".

She doesn't answer me with words, but rather catches me off guard with a kiss.

Cause, was love the answer to the crime of loving itself?

THE ENDING.

A/N: Honestly, the biggest factor of me writing this, is to describe the fear that a human can hold in their soul when they imagine the love of their life someday giving up on them, or falling out of love with them. And, as much as how blinding love is, it's one of the many reasons for blossoming. The aspect of our beings at times stands in the line of what we call 'love', or how we are being gifted it. Think about how you're being loved, is it worth the patience you have? Become aware of yourself too. The quietest demons often make the loudest crowds. As you can tell, the ending was an open-ended one--for you to decide if it's worth it or not. And, remember to be open for love, but take those slow steps with caution.

And remember, don't become someone's favorite crime, my dear ones.

-yours truly, romi.