𝟸 & 𝟺

-eleven-

What even happened yesterday? It's such a blur...

...okay let's remember...something. Please.

I took a shower. That's pretty normal. Everyone does that.

I was washing my hair. I had to, it was very gross. You could feel the amounts of dandruff and oil seeping through.

And then clumps started falling out. God, my hands were full of them. I could count the hairs around my fingers.

I panicked, by accident...I forgot I had invited him over to stay the night. God why did I have to scream so loud!

Why did I do that? It was only ten to 10, he could've walked home. I would've done it if he had offered. I would've just walked away...

But I would've felt guilty if he for some reason didn't make it home. If he ended up at the hospital, I would've definitely felt responsible. Like drunk driving responsible.

That's a stretch.

So he heard, and rushed upstairs. Why did he care so much to rush upstairs? I'm not his girlfriend or anything....

...wait don't tell me he....no that's very unlikely.

I mean...I don't give him those thoughts. I don't even consider that an option. The last thing I would do would be to lead him on.

Well...I act disinterested when I'm really just tired of people trying too hard. Isn't that obvious. Does he get that??
Of course he doesn't. He didn't seem to understand I don't like talking about Koutarou. The only thing I have left is him, why do I need to share that.

None of his business really, but come on!

So he rushed upstairs, ultimately caring, and I just...shut down.

I don't know what happened after, it just happened. Life pushed play when u was stuck on pause.

The repeat button is jammed right now; the song discontinued after the last verse.

He turned me around, I remember that much. Touched me lovingly...

Wait no! Not like that. Softly and kindly.

That's how he touched me.

He touched me, looked through my scalp because I asked out of my own fear. I wish I didn't. He did, and reassured me.

How does he have a way of doing that?? He didn't seem to care my request was so much to me, but almost nothing to him

I don't fucking get it. Am I overthinking this? Is this just really simple but the problem is that im finding it hard?

And then I went to bed, not knowing anything else.

Did anything else happen?

***

Something else had happened. Nothing physical. Both of you were in your own rooms. Your own space.

But your mind was a clustered space. Nothing was able to process out, keeping you occupied all night.

Morning had arrived with the impatient sun beaming through your window it had occurred to you that the day was in full swing.