Transition - a fanfiction (Divergent)

Chapter 4 - Delight

I’m not far from home now, and the entire time walking back, a grin has been right across my face. I’ve never connected to anyone like that before, never felt like that before.

I stand in front of the door, and just before I pull the handle, Mom yanks it open from the inside, grabs my dress, and pulls me inside. This can’t be good.

“WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?! I’VE BEEN WORRIED SICK!” Her face is filled with anger, rage, and worry, and her eyes are all red and puffy. She was crying.

“I just went on a walk.” That wasn’t even a lie, I had gone on a walk, just for too long, I guess.

“Give me a Candor answer,” she says in a quieter, more threatening tone.

“That was a Candor answer, Mom.” I frown at her and undo the laces on my shoes.

“Do you even realise how long you were out? You were out for three hours after school finished. I’ve never been so worried in my life, dear. You could have at least came home and then told me you were going for a walk.” I feel a pang of guilt in my chest. I genuinely didn’t realise I’d been out that long.

“I’m sorry, Mom. I honestly didn’t know I was out for that long. To me it felt like an hour,” I admit.

She looks me in the eyes. “I’m sorry I shouted darling, but you need to realise how scary something like that is to me. I thought you had been kidnapped, or ran off somewhere, or–”

“I promise I won’t do anything like it again.” That’s a lie because I’m leaving Candor. For good.

She wraps her arms around me – it reminds me of Tobias, I remember when his strong arms surrounded me, and I wanted them to stay there eternally…

“You need to go to your room and think about the test tomorrow, Octavia, and listen: no matter what choice you make, I will support you. Even if it’s a completely different faction, I’ll visit you as often as I can. I’m not one of those moms that stops their daughters and sons from doing stuff,” Mom reminds me.

“Okay. I’ll see you in the morning. I really am sorry about today.”

I make my way upstairs and close my door. Now I’m having second thoughts about changing my faction. A lot (and I mean a lot) of parents would’ve reacted way worse to what I just did. It makes me realise how lucky I am to have my mom. The thought also saddens me though, because the mom that I have will not exist in my life the same way when I leave Candor…

After getting changed into my pyjamas (which are also black and white), I lie down on my bed and just lie there, thinking about stuff, thinking about the test, mainly thinking about Tobias.

Which faction would I fit in? I tell lies so I don’t belong in Candor, I’m selfish because I never thought about my mom’s feelings before I went on that walk, so Abnegation is completely out of the question too. Am I smart? Am I kind? Am I brave?

I close my eyes and not long after, blackness overwhelms me.

-

“Octavia,” I hear someone whisper. “Octavia?” I feel someone shaking my shoulder.

I begin to open my eyes, and I see Mom sitting on the bed in front of me. “What is it? Why have you woken me up so early Mom?”

THE TEST, YOU IDIOT!

“Oh, right. Sorry, Mom.”

Everyone has to go to school three entire hours early when it’s the day of the test, as it takes a while to get through all of the students.

I walk downstairs after getting ready and eat some toast and drink a glass of cold water. Today I’m wearing a strapless black and white dress that stops just before my knees. It’s made out of smooth silk, and I can’t help but run my hands over the fabric every few seconds. I have to admit, it is beautiful: it’s something I wear only on special occasions, and probably the only piece of clothing I like in my wardrobe.

Mom puts my hair in a French braid that runs down my back, and I apply some mascara and white eye shadow.

“You look beautiful,” Mom says. I guess that when the people you know are Candor, you always know they’re telling the truth.

“Thank you, but the other girls at school are way prettier,” I admit.

“I don’t care about ‘the other girls at school’, I care about you.”

I wrap my arms around her, and it calms me. I actually seemed more nervous about the test yesterday than I am now. I realise that sometimes there is no need to worry about events in the future, it may not seem as bad when you get there.

Mom lets go of me, and puts her hands on my shoulders. “Good luck, dear. Don’t think about what may show up in the test, it’s always much better than you may think.” She kisses me on the forehead.

“Bye, Mom. I’ll be fine.” I’m not even sure whether that was a lie or not. I open the front door, take my first step outside, and take a deep breath. This is it. It’s the day of the test.