Will and Testament // Sequel to the Rosie Grey series

Chapter Twenty-One

Uncle Matthew let me talk for what felt like hours and I knew we must have passed supper at some point but no one came up to disturb us. Not once did Uncle Matthew interrupt or try to say anything the entire time I spoke and even when I had finished, we sat in silence for a little while which I suppose was so he could process what I had told him.

Even after I finished talking and enough time had passed for me to expect a comment from him, he said nothing. I don't know if he was just struggling to process all the information or what he was doing, but the silence unnerved me. The longer it went on, the more nervous I began the more I regretted saying anything at all. All I wanted was for him to say something and alleviate my nervousness a little.

"No wonder you've been acting out, that's a lot of things to be running through that small head of yours," he said after a while.

"My head isn't small," I mumbled, not entirely sure what else to say in response to his comment, although I was glad he finally spoke.

"Yes it is, it's tiny." He bumped into my shoulder. "I'm glad you felt like you could tell me, Izzy and I will keep to my word not to tell anyone else about our conversation if you don't want me to."

"I don't."

"Alright, if you're sure. A word of advice though, Izzy, keeping everything shut away inside won't do you any good. Talking to me might help for a little while, but in the long run, it's only going to make things worse for not only you but those around you. I'm certain your mother and father would want to help if they knew what was going on."

I shook my head. "I don't want them to know. They wouldn't understand, anyway."

"You don't know that." Uncle Matthew squeezed my upper arm. "But, if you're sure you don't want them to know, then I won't say anything but you should at least think about it."

"I will."

"Good, they'd want to help, I know they will." He moved his shirt sleeve and checked his watch. "I should go or Lily will be wondering where I am. Not only that, but it's getting late and you haven't eaten anything. Is there anything you want that I can ask for?"

"I'm fine, I might just go to bed."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. "Sure.

"Alright. I'll see you soon."

Uncle Matthew smiled and squeezed my arm again before pushing himself off the bed and walking towards the door. He stopped briefly to offer me a second smile before I watched him turn and disappear through the door, closing it behind him.

I huffed and collapsed back against the bed, twisting my hands up in my blanket a few times or until I felt like I finally had a clear space in my head. At the time, telling Uncle Matthew everything made sense and originally made me feel better, but now that he was gone that anxiety bubble reappeared. What if he went downstairs and told Mother, Father, everything I told him? What if he thought me crazy so went to inform them both that I needed to be locked up in an Asylum?

What if?

What if...

There were so many possible outcomes for telling Uncle Matthew everything and as I stared up at the canopy above my head, I wished I could go back in time and take it all back. I never should have trusted him. For all I knew, Mother and Father already knew what I had told him and were in the middle of trying to figure out how best to handle someone who appeared to be losing their mind.

Untwisting my hand from my blankets, I stood up and ran my fingers over my face before fishing out my nightdress from under my pillow. Even though I hadn't eaten a thing since Saturday night supper with the Davidson's, I still didn't feel hungry. I didn't even eat my lunch at school, I just shredded the sandwich and threw it in a bush. My nervousness and anxiety levels were so high that I didn't think I could stomach any form of food.