Will and Testament // Sequel to the Rosie Grey series

Chapter Thirty-Four

When I turned seven, we went on a family trip to the seaside to celebrate my birthday. I waded too far into the ocean, approached a small drop off in depth and disappeared beneath the waves. The water that swirled around me made it impossible to breathe, every breath I did take burned in my chest. My chest felt tight, my mind went fuzzy. Everything started to slip away.

That day in school felt like that all over again.

The rope pulled tighter around my chest with every breath and I couldn't focus on anything that happened around me. My mind swam and it felt like I was choking on that water all over again; drowning but without the water.

Father helped me out of my desk and led me from the school and out into the courtyard that encircled the building. The front gates had been closed, but the usual padlock that hung from them had yet to be put in place due to the parents hanging around for the debate. I watched the gate swim in and out of focus with Father placing a light hand on my arm and leading me over to a small wall. He didn't say anything, or if he did I didn't hear him. A low hum filled my ears.

"Izzy? I need you to look at me, alright? Can you do that?" Father said.

"Evelyn, can you get some water or something?" Mother said behind me. I didn't know she and Evelyn had come outside with us.

"Of course."

"Izzy, I'm going to need you to look at me."

I looked up at Father, the edges of my vision fading a little as I tried my hardest to focus on him and his face. My lungs squeezed a little harder. Father crouched down in front of me, balancing on the balls of his feet, although he did wobble a little. He took my shaking hands in his own, stead ones and just stood there looking at me without saying another word.

He took a deep breath, making eye contact with me as I fought to steady my own breathing. With Father looking at me and breathing deeply, I found myself starting to mimic him every time he took a deep breath. After a few deep breaths, the rope on my chest loosened, the dark edges around my vision faded, and my mind started to clear until I could think clearly. I gulped down several lungfuls of air and waited until the dizzy sensation passed completely.

Evelyn returned with a glass of water which she handed it to Father who passed it onto me. I took a few, small sips from the water and focused on what was happening around me. Birds tweeted in the few trees that had been planted in the courtyard, their song travelling on the breeze. A light breeze flowed past us, catching a few tendrils of my hair and spinning them around my head. I could smell Mother's perfume on the breeze, a gift from Father a few years ago.

"Take a few more sips of that and then we'll talk," Father said.

I nodded and took a few more sips of the water.

"Is this the first time something like this has happened?" he asked.

I shake my head. "It's happened before," I muttered.

"How many times?"

"Twice."

Father sighed. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"We weren't really on speaking terms at the time."

I dropped my head to my lap and stared at the glass of water in my hands, watching the slight tremble in my fingers that remained even though I had long since calmed down. Father readjusted his position and out of the corner of my eye, I saw him put a hand out on the ground to stop himself from falling over. He didn't say anything.

Mother shifted behind me and I watched her shadow pass by Father until I felt movement to the left of me and she sat on the wall. I knew what they were thinking; they wouldn't have to say it. It had been stupid of me to not tell them the truth, especially after our conversation a few days before we ironed everything out. Mother had told me I could tell them anything and still, I refused to tell them the entire truth.