Episode 1
Tommy Innit has main character energy and you can't prove him otherwise. Tommy worked at the biggest cafe in town, so he's like- y'know, a pretty big deal. Now, you are probably wondering: 'Tommy innit? The Tommy Innit? The bravest and handsomest and biggest man in the world?' Yes. Yes, it is the same Tommy. The SBI Café was like his debut. He originally got the job because he snuck in for the overnight heater and fell asleep. And the boss, Philza, (or Phil, as Tommy calls him), may or may not have taken pity on him. But Mr. Innit is no one to be pitied. He is quite frankly god, when he thinks about it. In fact; he practically owns the place-
"Tommy! Stop zoning out and get back to washing the dishes!" A co-worker groaned. Tommy rolled his eyes. His friend here had on his iconic yellow sweater instead of the uniform, so really, he should be the one in trouble. Not Tommy.
"Wilbur, shut up. I'm too cool for this reality, so I must simply think of another one." Tommy quipped. Wilbur grew annoyed and walked away. Yeah, you better walk away, bitch. He turned to his dirty plates, shrugged and dropped them back into the sink. He dried his hands on his apron, and walked out of the kitchen. On the other side of the kitchen door, was a pink haired barista, taking someone's order. He turned to Tommy, and muttered an apology to the customer.
"Tommy.. please. This was the one good day, Tommy. We have been doing so well-"
"Nope. I'm gonna start ruining shit." Tommy grinned. The pink haired co-worked facepalmed.
He started to plead. "It's bad enough that Mr. Philza acts like your his son, we don't need a burnt down cafe also. I need this job, Tommy, you know this."
"No-can-do, Techno. Things have been too peaceful around here and I haven't gone to jail yet." Tommy pushed Techno out of his way and walked up to the counter. He was about to be so hip and cool and swag and poggers.
Techno looked on the brink of tears. Wilbur had walked away from serving a table, seeing Tommy's childish glint in his eyes. The two adults were terrified, to say the least. As they should be. They are in the presence of Sir Thomas Careful Danger Kraken Innit. God, his name is so epic.
Tommy climbed to the top of the counter and yelled to get everyone's attention.
"OI- BITCHES." Tommy raised his left hand and latched his fingers onto a wire on the roof. "I HAVE NO CLEVER ONE-LINER FOR THIS SO; FIREWORKS!"
He pulled on the wire, and 10 fireworks went off indoors, setting shit on fire. Wow, he should go into showbiz, this was great! Techno and Wilbur hurried to put out the fire and help citizens. Tommy watched as a middle-aged man helped his mother, who was elderly and passed out. He locked eyes with Tommy.
"Go to hell!" The man yelled, shaking his fist.
Tommy shrugged at him. "Nah. Don't feel like it."
Everyone evacuated and the fire sprinklers went off.
--
"Let me get this straight. You didn't do the dishes, you distracted Wilbur, you refrained Techno from finishing his shift, then proceeded to illegally use fireworks indoors, causing an elderly woman to lose consciousness, leaving the cafe on fire..?"
Tommy was sitting at Philza's desk in his office, stiff and fidgeting. They had now gotten the problem under control, so Tommy doesn't have any idea why Phil was mad.
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May I take your order, Bitch Boy?
Fanfictionthat one crackfic where Tommy works at a cafe with his friends and does everything but his job. (Inspired by TUMOASD in a round about way) [DISCLAIMER: even though this fan fiction is advertised as a fluff/ crackfic; it does switch into angst sudden...
