Episode 7
Tommy pressed numbers idly into the cash register to the tune of Burning Pile by Mother Mother. What? Just cause he works minimum wage doesn't mean he can't have good music taste. There was little to no customers today, which was strange for the café. Tommy liked it though. It was probably the shit bag Las Nevadas from down the street that was stealing the customers. He should convince Techno to burn it down with him. A bonfire would be a better use of the land plot.
Wilbur and Techno were reading a book together in one of the booths. Phil was out on an errand.
Techno recited out loud one of the quotes for the fifth time today. It was some philosophy shit. Tommy didn't care or understand it, but it sounded good when Techno said it, so he let it slide. Ever since Las Nevadas showed up, The SBI Café has had real competition. It's been threatening the #1 restaurant title.
He zoned out and listened to the brother's conversation.
"Sun Tsu is the kind of man to see war and go 'is anyone going to make a book on the art of that?' And not wait for an answer."
"Wilbur. You made that joke 6 times now."
"I'm the kind of person to see this joke and go 'is anyone going to repeat that?' And not wait for an answer."
He zoned out of the brother's conversation. He has decided he has heard enough.
The bell on the door rang and Tommy's head perked up. A man stumbled into the establishment. He wore a formal work suit, with the blazer tied around his shoulders. His tie was undone, and he had lambchops on his face for facial hair. He was obviously drunk.
Tommy watched as he made his way to the counter. Even Techno and Wil started to watch.
"Hey, kid-" he hiccuped between a few words. "Kid, you got any— you got any booze?"
"Uhm, no. This is a café, not a bar, dumbass."
"Look, I'm— heading back from that— place across the street." He waved his hand around. "I was flirting with this guy with a beanie— he had an ass. But— he wouldn't hand over the booze! So I left. This place looks like— it would have a good drink or two! So why — don't you hand over the juiceee." His words slurred, waving his finger in Tommy's face.
"Look man, you're drunk. You should probably head home. Even If we had alcohol here, Phil wouldn't let me near that shit."
"Look,— I'm a powerful man— My name is JSchlatt. You — don't wanna get on my bad side, got it!" His eyebrows furrowed, even while he looked on the brink of laughter.
"Yeahhh, ok. I'm getting Phil. WILBUR. GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND DEAL WITH THIS."
Wilbur groaned and walked to the counter.
Schlatt quirked an eyebrow. "W-Wilbur?"
"What's up Schlatt. Still drunk I see."
"Long time— no see, friend!" He laughed.
Tommy slowly backed away and turned to get Phil. He opened the office door. Then he remembered something important: He's a dumbass. Phil was still out doing old people shit! Tommy, big man, Innit, has to deal with this bitch on his own! Then again, it shouldn't be a problem for such a strong man like him. He walked back to Wilbur, who was holding a napkin like a divider to keep away from Schlatt.
"Phil's still out being a pussy. We gotta deal with this on our own, bestie."
"Goddamnit."
Techno joined them, not impressed with the new development.
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May I take your order, Bitch Boy?
Fanficthat one crackfic where Tommy works at a cafe with his friends and does everything but his job. (Inspired by TUMOASD in a round about way) [DISCLAIMER: even though this fan fiction is advertised as a fluff/ crackfic; it does switch into angst sudden...
