May I take your order, Bitch Boy?

4. Custody Battle

Episode 4

"And, uhhh a diet cock. I mean diet cock. I mean diet cock-"

"You mean diet coke?"

"Yes."

Tommy looked up at the customer. 

"You're at a café and you order a diet coke?"

"Yes."

Tommy sighed and walked away after jotting down the order on the notepad. Wilbur was blasting music from behind the counter. He said it was 'Missing Poster by Budman' by Tommy really never pays attention. It was overall a very comfortable vibe. Very cozy, as Phil would phrase it. So, Tommy took advantage of the feeling and held onto it, dotting down the events in his notebook like it was a journal. 

He sat down on the counter, facing outwards. When he looked up, he could have the entire café in view of his spot. It reminds him of that one orangey-filter all the vintage pictures on Pinterest have.

Good soup.

The bell rang and Tommy jolted out of his position and launched himself over the counter so he was now behind it. Wilbur helped him off the ground and picked the dirt out of his hair. 

Wilbur sighed. "Have you been eating mud again?"

"That's none of your business." Tommy turned away from Wilbur in order to look at the new customer. He had black hair and a blue beanie. A huge fucking scar ran down his face and left his eye tinted white. He wore a white polo with suspenders and a tie. He looked very official. Tommy was intrigued. 

The man walked up to the two employees at the counter. "Hello boys! Is this the...—" he glanced down at a piece of paper he was holding. "—SBI Café?"

"Yup. That's us." Wilbur responded, feeling way too underdressed for this conversation.

"That's great! And..—" The man looked at Tommy. "— are you Tommy Innit?"

Tommy nodded, confused. Wilbur put a protective arm in front of him.

"Oh! That's great! Im Alex Quackity, but you can call me Quackity. Im the owner of the café down the street, it's called Las Nevadas, you probably heard of it!" Quackity chuckled. "Anyways, I'll get to the point. The owner probably wouldn't like the competition in his café. I was told by friends that Tommy here, was a good employee, and I would like to offer him a job as a waiter at my café!"

The music stopped. (Followed by Wilbur playing a record scratch sound effect on his phone.) Tommy watched the man smile innocently. He took a breath and raised his finger. "Wilbur keep Big Q here. I'm going to go get Phil."

Wilbur nodded, and Big Q looked confused at the nickname.

—

A few minutes later, Tommy and Philza Minecraft are walking out of the back room, joining the two. Phil was smiling, but there was something off about his smile. It scared Wilbur. Terrified him. 

"Ah! You must be the owner of this establishment!" Big Q cheered.

"Indeed I am. Hello, Mr. Quackity! My name is Philza Minecraft." Phil shook Quackity's hand. "Unfortunately, I'll have to stop you before you go making business offers. Tommy won't be joining you."

Phil and Quackity stared each other down, each smiling bitterly. Wilbur held Tommy's hand and Tommy gulped. Oh god, mom and dad are fighting again. 

"Well, you seem like a kind soul. Why don't you let Tommy speak for himself!" Quackity laughed lightly.

"I would, but I don't believe you would get a different answer!" Phil smiled harder, eyes squinting. They were still shaking hands, by the way. It was quite traumatic to watch. Phil held Quackity's hand tighter.