unbreakable heaven • awsten knight

1.8 nobody gets me like you

houston tx
december 2008

Ellie is getting better at going to Awsten for help when she has bad days, and today is a bad day.

It's cold, and she didn't realise quite how cold it would be, which means she didn't exactly dress appropriately.

She's wearing leggings again, and a long sleeved t-shirt, but she painfully regrets not grabbing her usual large, comfort hoodie before she left.

Awsten is sat at their lunch table, with an empty space next to him for Ellie; she's not normally late, which has him slightly worried, but he holds out on panicking about it for a little longer.

Eventually, he feels her presence next to him, as she slides in to the space he'd left for her.

She keeps her head fairly low, and her arms are wrapped around herself, as she shuffles close to him.

"Hey, you okay?" Awsten turns to her, speaking gently.

Ellie nods slowly, scooting herself even closer to his side, as she shivers.

"Can we go to the lake again after school?" She asks, not acknowledging the company of anyone else at the table, since they're all in their own separate conversations anyway.

"Yeah, if you want to," he agrees, offering her a small smile. "Are you alright? Are you cold?" Awsten frowns at the way she's gripping at her sleeves, trying to stay warm, as she nods again. "Here," he says, opening his bag and pulling out a hoodie.

Ellie looks up at him, as he hands her the hoodie. "Are you sure?" She hesitantly holds out her hands to take it. "What if you need it?"

"I don't need it," Awsten smiles, confidently.

She puts his hoodie on and immediately pulls the hood over her head; Awsten giggles quietly as she pulls the drawstrings, causing the hood to close tightly around her face.

Ellie folds her arms over her chest, taking a deep breath in, and all she can smell is Awsten.

She smiles to herself, pulling the sleeves over her hands, as she lets her head rest against his shoulder.

He looks down at her, a fond smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Awsten shifts a little in hopes that it'll make Ellie more comfortable, and he moves his arm to rest around her, cautiously.

She leans further into him, and he takes that as a good sign, so he slides his arm around her waist more securely.

Ellie's heart trips over itself at the small gesture, and she lets one hand fall to rest on his knee.

Awsten has found that Ellie is comforted a lot by physical affection; she can be fairly bold with initiating it, and she sometimes takes him by surprise, but he doesn't mind; he likes being close to her, so he's not complaining.

His hand sits comfortably at the curve of her hip, and he squeezes her waist affectionately.

Ellie smiles, hoping that she isn't blushing too profusely for Zakk to notice as he sits opposite her.

She looks up at Awsten for a moment, resting her chin on his shoulder and offers him a grateful smile.

He tries to suppress his grin slightly as he looks down at her again.

The two of them feel as if they're in they're own bubble, despite the three other people sat at the table around them, as well as the hundreds of other students in the cafeteria.

Sometimes Ellie feels as though Awsten is the only person who can really see her— maybe that's exactly the way she wants it.

...

The two of them go to the lake after school, just like Ellie had requested.

Since it's winter, it's the sun begins to set much earlier, leaving the two of them to watch the scenery unfold, as they sit at the waterfront.

Ellie is sat between Awsten's legs, looking out at the view, and his arms are securely wrapped around her, as they're both feeding off of one another's warmth.

"I didn't think you'd be this big on Christmas, you know," Awsten admits. "You were real' eager about Secret Santa."

"I mean, it makes me feel better," Ellie shrugs. "Not like, actual Christmas, but I like getting people things and giving presents. That makes me feel better," she explains, and Awsten's heart swells.

"That's cute," he murmurs, muffled against her hair, and she smiles softly.

It's quiet for a while after that, as Awsten silently traces patterns with his fingers at Ellie's waist; she finds it relaxing, and lets out a long breath.

"I think my mum's gonna leave us," she blurts, truthfully, and Awsten pauses his actions for a moment.

"Why do you think that?" He queries, cautiously.

"She's left before," Ellie says, flatly. "My parents have separated like, three times in the past. My mum gets sick of my dad's shit, so she leaves, but ends up coming back for me," she shrugs.

"What's your dad like?" Awsten asks, hesitantly.

"Uhm, he's a little— difficult, to say the least," Ellie admits. "He's stubborn, really strict. But, he's just kind of, careless, in a way," she lets out a sigh. "It's not that he doesn't care. He's just careless with things he does."

Awsten nods, seeming to understand things about her a little better.

He's found that she's more careful than he remembers from camp; although, maybe she has always been this way, and he just didn't see it when they were thirteen— but, he doesn't think she'd put snapping turtles in people's beds with him anymore.

"Sometimes I think it's my fault," Ellie speaks up again.

"It's not your fault," Awsten responds quickly, but gently.

"Maybe," she hums. "The thing is, though," Ellie pauses, letting out a sigh, "it wrecks my dad whenever she leaves. As much as I get why she leaves, and as much as I clash with him a lot, he just can't quite cope by himself," she mumbles. "Especially not out here. He'd be completely on his own. I couldn't leave him, too. I'd be all he has."

Awsten shuts his eyes lightly, pulling her a little closer. "I'll always be around, you know," he starts, feeling her sinking into him, "I'll be right here."

Ellie nods, unsure if she can manage words for at least the next few minutes, but it seems to be enough.

"Awsten?" She speaks up finally, earning a hum of acknowledgment. "Nobody gets me like you," Ellie admits, quietly, speaking out into the open air.

He smiles softly, planting a kiss in her hair.

...