Moments - Larry Stylinson

Chapter 3 - Harry POV

So here's another update and its on time this week... hope you like it..

Ed took me inside and we sat on the couch. Ed was the only person in Holmes Chapel I visited and his house was the only one I could go inside. I couldn't bear to go in my mum's house, so, if I had to meet mum, it would always be at my place. However, Ed had redecorated his entire house so it didn't resemble his childhood house in any way. Ed's parents had passed away a year back in a car accident so it was just him. We hugged and then I said, "How are you?" "Good." Ed said. Then Ed asked me if I was fine and I assured him I was alright. Then he asked again, more seriously, "No genuinely Haz, why are you here late in the night with slight tear tracks on your cheeks. Did your boyfriend say something?" I raised my hand to my cheeks and indeed my cheek was slightly sticky where a tear or two had trickled down. "Ed I assure you I'm fine. Lou and I had a small fight but I kissed him and said that I'd be here tonight and he accepted calmly. Don't worry Ed, Louis treats me like I'm his world. What about you Ed, you genuinely alright?"

Ed hesitated for a moment before nodding. I'd grown up with him and could sense a lie, "Ed, don't lie." A tear trickled down his cheek and I was shocked, Ed rarely cried. "I'm sorry Haz." I was puzzled. "Ed what happened?" Ed shook his head slightly but whispered, "I know I shouldn't have but I couldn't help it. The hate got to me." "Ed?" I asked, unsure of where this was going. Ed turned his head to the floor so I couldn't see his face. "I-I started cutting." I gasped and felt a pit of fear at the bottom of my stomach. I couldn't form words, "E-Ed why? when?" He wiped his tears quickly, sat back a bit and sighed, "Remember a couple of months back, my girlfriend broke up with me." I nodded and he continued. "Well she said a couple of nasty things - I don't know why but - it struck a nerve and I guess from then it spiraled down. I-I started paying  attention to the hate on twitter - I couldn't help it. She - She told me that the world hates me, I guess I had to see if it was true. I opened twitter and the hate, Haz, it's unbearable - The stuff they say hurts so bad. My mental health was generally declining because the stress generated by the industry. I guess this was just my breaking point. Lastly, I'm missing Jessica more than ever. I'd die to hear her voice again. When I joined the industry 4 years back, after - you know what - I had got completely sucked in and busy with creating a name. I didn't get a chance to miss her. Now I've made a name for myself like she dreamed of. I continue writing songs but I have more free time because I have settled down. Since I have so much spare time, I can't help think - think too much."

I hugged Ed. I understood what he meant. "Hey, Ed I know how you feel." I started speaking but Ed shook his head and said, "You've never been depressed you can't know how I feel." I turned away when tears pricked my eyes. I realized just how lost and pessimistic my bright funny red-haired friend had become. I calculated my words and tried to frame them in a welcoming and friendly way, "Ed, I might not have been depressed, I might not understand you 100% but I want to help you. Anytime, any day you feel the urge to cut, please call me. I beg of you. I-I can't lose my other best friend." Ed nodded quickly and by the expression on his face I was certain he would call me. I could tell that the last line had hit home because it meant so much to both of us. I knew he'd fight. He was strong enough to tell he was depressed. It takes guts to accept that fact. Perhaps, even though I couldn't save her, I could save Ed

Ed and I stayed up for a while playing video games and chatting before going to bed. However, I barely slept, as the tears never left my eyes as I thought of how broken Ed had become. Had she also been this broken - how did I never realize it? I managed to catch a few winks of restless sleep before waking up early the next morning. Before I left, I reminded Ed to call me whenever he felt the urge to cut. As I was about to leave, Ed said, "Next time get your boyfriend along. Or am I not good enough to meet him? Ay?" His tone was joking but I could tell he was insecure.

 I realized then, that I couldn't hide my best friend and boyfriend from each other forever. Both were insecure of themselves, when I refused to let them meet. It was inevitable - I'd have to get them to meet. I reassured Ed, "Ed you're more than good enough. Lou considers you his role model and don't worry I'll get Lou along next time." Both wanted to meet the other since ages but I never let them meet because I was worried about how it would end. Louis knows nothing about my past and when I'm with Ed, it's as though I'm 16 - 17 all over again. I joke around more, speak rubbish and talk of Jessica. Also, Louis could be rather mouthy and with Ed battling depression, I had no clue how this would end.

Somehow... even though I'm the writer I have no idea how this will end either (jk, I have it all planned)