Hang Em' High [RDR2 X FEM!Reader]

The Emotions Of Zoo Animals

Please reread the little bit of writing at the start of chapter one as I have updated it. Enjoy this chapter my beloveds!!

The morning mist sat comfortably on the water. You watched the water with your arms folded, squeezing your hands on your flesh, soothing yourself. You sighed as the lake gurgled and small waves bounced against the wooden pier below you. The birds were squawking high above the sunset, taking their morning flight.

"How are you holding up?" You heard a familiar voice from behind you which made you jump
"Jesus Christ! What are you doing scaring me like that?" You scolded Arthur and he laughed. You turned back to the water. "there was a doe and a deer on the other side of the water before, reminded me of us."
"They always remind me of us."
"Me too....Just two living creatures trying to get by with nothing but each other." You both stood in silence for a moment."I'm fine. I was thinking about the night you got taken...." You confessed. Arthur walked closer and put his arm around your waist
"I'm sorry, I know it was hard on you."
"Arthur, you can't apologise for being kidnapped. It's not like you set out to do it,"
"I know, but I'm sorry it happened," he replied softly
"It happened for a reason through, Arthur," you stated with your eyes focused on a family of ducks far into the lake
"What do you mean?" He questioned
"The night you got taken," You turned your head and your eyes met for a few moments before you returned to the ducks "somewhere, deep, deep down I could feel myself falling for you, but it's like music was drowning out the feelings, emotions and thoughts. And when you got taken and I realised you were gone, the music suddenly cut out and all my feelings came flooding out all at one. It was a bit of a mess actually, I nearly gave poor Sean a black eye."
Arthur gave a soft giggle "Now, I don't doubt that." There was a comfortable silence before Arthur spoke again "why music?"
"Music is a wonderful thing, we all use it as a distraction.... But when you got taken I realised I was distracting myself from something that was far better than any song or piece of music."
"Well, don't you make quiet the poet." He spoke slowly and softly in your ear, shivers rushed down your spine and you laughed
"You're one to talk Mr. Morgan," you smiled
"Is that so Mrs y/l/n?" He pondered
"Oh yes it is," you replied again, still smiling. Your eye contact never broke
"well, keep looking at me with that smile and I might just have to turn you into a Mrs. Morgan." As soon as those words left your mouth, boiling water harassed your stomach. You and Arthur hadn't been a thing for very long at all, but it had felt like you'd known him all of your life. He was joking though, surely? He laughed hysterically, hand on his stomach then spoke "you look like you've just seen a ghost, woman! I was only kidding. I'm not going to propose to you. Not just yet." He squeezed your hip and smiled, you gave a weak one in return before he walked away. You felt confused with emotion,
"Oh and y/n!" He yelled and you spun around
"You know if you ever need to talk, I'm here. We're a team." He smiled again and you nodded and spun around to face the lake that shimmered oh so elegantly.

You realised that you and Arthur had became very close, very quickly. Did you even know what his favourite colour was? His favourite food? Maybe it was time to pull back the reigns a little before you go and get yourself hurt again. You sighed and shook your body out like a dying fish, pulling yourself together before spinning on your heel and setting off. You scanned the camp for something to do, you spied one of the horse carriages was broken. Couldn't do it on your own though, you glanced around for a free person and you found Uncle sleeping under a tree. You ran up to him, pulled back your leg and kicked his lower half, waking him up with a shock.
"AAGH! What do you think you're doing!?" He yelled
"Come on, we need to fix that carriage." You pointed to the job in hand
"Go get someone else, I'm resting." He replied, eyes closed and getting comfortable again
"No, I'm using you, now on your feet old man."
"I can't! I have lumbago and it's very serious! Helping you could be the death of me."
"Doubtful," you muttered, then you knelt down, grabbed his collar and pulled him to his feet "now old man!"
He squirmed and moaned before surrendering. You walked to the carriage whilst Uncle shuffled behind you. He was mumbling insults under his breath like an angry toddler, you knew this was going to be a long morning.

Three hours later and the carriage was fixed. The sun shone relentlessly down onto camp causing you to sweat. You were back staring at the water, it was all you seemed to do. Visions of the flames roaring at Braithwaite Manor struck you causing you to wince. All that fire, pain, death, destruction and no Jack. We needed to get him back. And we needed to get him now. You hated being lied to, but you hated having your time waisted too. You were being teased. You were a lion on show at the zoo, being toyed with for its food. Well, you'd had enough. The lion was about pounce and may god have mercy on all who falls.

You power-walked over to Dutch, cigar in one hand, book in other. He blew out smoke as he eyed you approach
"Can I help you miss y/l/?" He pondered, tapping his cigar allowing the ash to tumble to the ground
"We need to get a move on, Dutch." You demanded
"We're packing up as quickly as we can y/n, unless you want to order Mrs Grimshaw to speed up," he contemplated
"Dutch, you don't understand!" You snapped, chest raising and falling quickly "first! It was Sean. Then! Is was Jack. Next! Who will it be? Hmmph? Mary-Beth? Bill? Or how about Hosea? Or Arthur? Or even Molly O'Shea? Let's not forget, it could easily enough be you!"
Dutch's eyes darkened. You had hit a nerve, you could tell. He growled, before puffing on his cigar.
"I don't? Understand?" He questioned
"No! You don't!" You retaliated, even though you knew you should have backed down a while ago. He stood up and his chest was mere inches from your face. He chuckled deeply to himself then shook his head as he spoke "I don't understand." And he walked away.

Crime isn't an easy life to adjust to. It had been one hundred and eighty three days since joining camp. Half a year. Each day you grew into a different person, you could feel yourself morphing into a stranger. But were you changing into someone else? Or just to who you were always destined to be? Because as scary the thought was of changing. It all felt so, so right. You thought about this for the large majority of your journey to the next camp. You were sat next to Arthur, just you two in your carriage, the same as last time. You felt guilty, confused, worried and tired. You told Arthur you were fine. You were not. That was a lie. A white lie, but a lie none the less.
"Arthur?"
"Yes?"
"I lied."
His eyes seemed to widen "about what?"
"I'm not fine," you confessed, feeling your emotions start to seep out "nothing about this is fine,"
He moved one hand from the reins and around you, he stared at your teary eyes with such heart break. As if seeing you sad broke him into a thousand tiny pieces. The lump in your throat defeated you and what was left of your cracking voice fizzled away, leaving nothing but an emotional mess. A once independent lion, was now a frightened mouse.
"I'm a mouse," you croaked through your tears. Arthur, confused and worried for you, gripped you tightly, he pulled you into his lap, rubbing your back with pressure. He lowered his mouth to your ear.

"No, love." He moved your hair behind your ear, keeping his mouth close to you "You're a doe."