The Difference

Chapter 19

The slamming of the door startled her. Had she really thrown it shut with such force? Well, big whoop... Not like anyone was going to criticize her. She was back in her own kingdom. Had finally escaped the fantasy land he had abducted her into. Lisa chose to ignore the fact that she had been a more than willing participant on the ride. And what a ride it had been.

First she had jumped in front of his car, then into his car, then hurled herself off a cliff - blinded by the stunning darkness of two enigmatic brown eyes. Too bad that little bitch had to call and mess it all up. Of course, Lisa could not really blame Julia for trying. This was Michael. You can't fault the fly for getting stuck in the Venus Fly Trap. He was too strong of a force field to break away from. Now, he on the other hand could have resisted answering the phone and instead continued their conversation. But no- he had to be an ass.

Had she really been all that unreasonable? It was not like she had asked for the impossible. Any small measure of assurance would have sufficed. And no, the mere fact that she was still here in the condo with him did not count. Lisa knew Michael too well for that. He had always hated conflict and just because he seemed to be acquiescing to a given situation did not mean he would not break into a flurry of activity as soon as he considered himself unobserved to get exactly what he wanted. Michael was a master in all his endeavors- and he did passive aggressiveness like no one else on the planet.

Lisa had hoped the morning would bring clarity with the same dazzling intensity that last night had delivered explosive sexual fulfillment with the emotional edge she had craved: Her love for Michael realized in every touch, every kiss, every moan. At some point during the night she had woken up, missing something. She realized she had been deprived of the solid heat next to hear. Usually such loss of the body next to hear equaled relief: whatever lover she had been with had finally decided to haul ass and she would be granted privacy and the use of the bed. Something was different, though.

It was Michael's body she remembered. Michael's scent that had supplied to oxygen to her slumber. His arms had held her close in an embrace that was the polar opposite of stifling. For one horrible second she thought her overactive imagination had tricked her again. That it was once again time to wake up to the taste of his kisses on her lips, the lingering sensation of his skin on her fingertips supplied not by reality but by amazingly cruel emotional and sensory memories. She had jerked fully awake, a light noise intruding. Her eyes flew open. Panic swept her as her brain tried to orient itself. This was not her bed- not her bedroom.

During her youth and crazy early adulthood, Lisa had woken up in too many beds, wondering how the hell she had ended up between those particular sheets she did not recognize. Too often had she skulked out of a house or apartment, glad to sneak off before having to confront some guy through the haze of her hangover. The sense of disorientation and shame had given rise to a change in behavior. She started to take men home with her- and had even cultivated a charming little routine to kick them out when their usefulness had expired. It was so unreal how her quest for love had led her to so many beds, to so many men, and yet had only served to expand the crater in her heart. And it was not even like she liked sex all that much. The idea usually was much preferable to the reality of sweaty, unfulfilling exhaustion. Each sexual act, even those providing a small measure of anticlimactic climaxes, had heaped another stone onto the pyramid of guilt she had erected as the monument to her disgrace and shame.

Only one man had ever managed to fill her body, her heart, and her soul. Michael. His name reverberated in her mind, echoing with crystal clear harmony, illuminating the darkness. She looked around and realized she was safe: she was in Michael's condo. The dim light source from the bathroom door he had closed but not shut drew her gaze and comforted her. He probably just had to use the bedroom. Lisa wrapped the sheet closer around her and curled into the comfort of his fragrance. When his weight signaled his return to bed she smiled as he snuggled into her, pulling her close. He obviously thought she was asleep, kissing her shoulder tenderly before sending his sensual fingers on a secret mission of exploration. Playing along paved the way to having him slip back into her, making her whole once more. That tender, languid union was so different than their passionate, crazy love-making from earlier. He seemed to touch every nerve inside her body and caress her heart which he again held solidly in his hands.