Fundamentally Good

Sleeplessness

Day 10 Cloytober: Hug

⚠️ Tread lightly please! Emotionally heavy chapter ahead

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It didn't take Ri Jeong Hyeok too long to fall asleep that night, not when he was lulled to sleep by the remnants of the stormy day, blazing through the heavens with a comforting rumbling of peace after a storm.

He fell asleep that night with the warmth of Seri's arm lingering on his like a tattooed touch. He fell asleep with the memories of Seri smiling like a delighted child as she held out her hand to the heavens. He fell asleep with her captivating eye smiles and radiating happiness.

It was truly a calming way to fall asleep.

Unfortunately, such calmness was transient in a night that would soon be devoured by the terror of darkness.

Nightmares.

Even those who had nightmares daily could never say that they have conquered them. It wasn't something that you could get better at with practice; one does not simply become immune to the demon of darkness. It wasn't something that you could predict; it comes and goes in waves. Finally, it wasn't something that agreed with your usual logic; it followed its own patterns and logic, elevating fears and crushing dreams.

No one could say they were immune to nightmares. Even when one was to wear a full-body armour, those terrors could still seep past the tiniest gap, that tiny crack of vulnerability – an opportunity to crush a soul.

If even the strongest could crumble because of a nightmare, what more for an angel who has never experienced such terror before this?

Experience doesn't protect one against nightmares, but inexperience only made for an extremely intense battle with that inner darkness.

That was Ri Jeong Hyeok's night.

The eerie, luminous glow of a deer's irises, the strangled cry from a baby, a flash of gold on a slender hand.

Screams, shouts, screeches.

That nerve-biting fear as Ri Jeong Hyeok slammed down desperately on the brake that wasn't doing its job to stop the nightmare unfolding in front of his eyes.

Next to him, a terrified shout from a woman.

A crash.

Blood.

Darkness.

"You have to live..."

And he woke with a start.

Fear shackled Ri Jeong Hyeok to the cloud he was sleeping on as nausea crept in with every pounding of his heavy heart. That same fear hammered against his temples and stabbed his gut; the feeling of a knife being slowly twisted, torturously so.

His mouth was dry, a complete contrast to the tears bubbling in his eyes. Ri Jeong Hyeok soon felt his mouth lips with the flashbacks, diminishing all semblance of logic and self-control that usually came naturally to the angel.

The iron-grip that pain had on Ri Jeong Hyeok that night was merciless and unbending, elevating the torturous waves of panic in his heart as he fought for control.

There was pain; inflicted by the terror of the night.

There was anger; an accusatory demand to the heavens over the emotional attack.

There was sadness; a sinking spiral of tears and the unexplainable anguish of a broken soul.

There was desperation; an uncontrollable urge to find the woman in his dreams. And the child.

There was confusion; a feeling of loss and being lost over a memory that just took root in his heart.

There was guilt; for the angel was sure that he had somehow caused that accident in his nightmare.

Was the woman alive? Was the baby crying alive too?

There was so much negativity clenching the angel's heart that a few of his pure white feathers fell to the clouds from his uncontrollable shaking.

He was alone and he didn't even know what he could do to calm himself.

A hug. All he needed was a hug.

But there was no one here to hug him now.

So, he hugged himself.

There has never been such a heart-wrenching picture of an angel huddled up in a lone cloud, crying silently into his knees.

Until now.

While an angel was crying in heaven, a devil was wide awake in hell. Sipping calmly on the aged wine, the blank, listless stare on Seri's face was purely borne out of exhaustion this time.

She doesn't sleep when it storms.

Never have, never will.

Even though she had been smiling like an idiot ever since she arrived back in hell, Seri was still unused to sleeping with a storm knocking at her door. Instead, she settled down on her black velvet couch, using the smooth red liquid to soothe her heart.

Progressively, exhaustion took over and now, Seri was simply staring blankly into space.

Not spacing out. Those were two very different things.

Sighing tiredly, Seri shifted her position slightly such that she was completely curled up against the armrest. Between thinking about her interactions with her angel so far and blinking the exhaustion away, Seri recalled that earth-shattering wave of foreign memories that day on the bridge.

It was curious how those memories felt like a part of her yet ,apart from her. But no matter how Devil Yoon tried, she couldn't quite shake off that recorder nor the tear-stained hems of that fashionable checkered suit jacket.

"She has style." Yoon Seri commented wryly to herself.

However, that did nothing to erase the bothersome thoughts in her head. It was a ridiculous thought, but at some point, Seri did wonder if that memory was somehow related to her past life.

Was that woman...her?

That crippling pain and loneliness she felt back then were certainly what Devil Yoon was familiar with. How many nights had she spent in hell drowning in her night terrors or wallowing in loneliness on such stormy nights?

For the longest time, Yoon Seri had made herself inaccessible to everyone. While she spent her nights weak and helpless against the darkness, she spent her days building that tough exterior up every time it was shattered, just so that she could protect herself from the world.

There wasn't a specific reason why she did that, nor was there any logical conclusion to the nightmares that haunted her sleep. But somehow, it was all rooted in Seri's inability to trust.

Twas the reality Seri lived in, until Ri Jeong Hyeok comforted her for the first time, on that bridge in Switzerland.

Perhaps he was right about the bridge being special after all.

Still, the night was empty without the angel around. Craving some warmth, Yoon Seri wrapped her arms around herself, imagining then that Ri Jeong Hyeok was hugging her close to him. That his warmth was surrounding her wholly and securely.

She smiled.

Even apart, the thought of the angel and his radiating thoughtfulness was an immense source of comfort to Seri. For the first time on a stormy night, Yoon Seri found herself falling asleep with her arms wrapped tightly around herself.

Back in heaven, an angel had his arms wrapped tightly around himself partly for comfort but mostly because of fear. Puffy eyed and trembling from residual tears, Ri Jeong Hyeok's only source of peace was Seri. Tired from the tears, the angel finally allowed himself to sleep again.

They were both asleep, but one soul was resting while the other was restless.

Both wondered, what did they need to do to breathe again?