I Wanna Be Yours

"Chapter 13"

Derek is grateful that part of David's birthday gift is a fishing expedition, so that he doesn't have to see Meredith Grey at all after their passionate kiss in his kitchen. She might be the one who ran, but he's avoiding her just as fiercely.

He and David have been blessed with a pleasantly warm summer day, and he plans on exploiting every single second of sunlight they can manage. David luckily looks pretty excited too as they walk up to the stream.

They are walking on David's favorite trail, the one that passes right through their land before leading to a small lake, hidden in the forest. It's not the best of fishing spots, but today is not about the fishes.

Derek relishes the sight of David's dark head of hair walking in front of him, exploring every tree and every plant on their way as he carries his own pole and tackle box. He's proud of him, even if it's just for being his son. He never imagined he could love someone this way, and everyday he feels like he loves David a little more.

"Oh, Daddy, a mushroom!" David exclaims, as he spots a cluster of bright yellow mushrooms peeking from the muddy earth under an oak tree.

"Those aren't edible, though. Be careful."

"They're pretty."

"They are," he agrees, watching as David crouches in front of the mushrooms and studies them.

When he seems satisfied with the exploration, David starts walking again, practically hopping towards the lake.

"Daddy, how come my mommy doesn't live with us?" David blurts out of the blue, and Derek stumbles on a tree root on the path.

"What?"

"All my friends in school have mommies, and some of their mommies don't live with them all the time, but they get to see them sometimes. How come mine never visits?"

Derek gulps, slowing his steps. "Your mommy and I...we were never really a couple like some parents are. We never married."

"Okay," he frowns, and Derek sighs.

He knows he's tackling all of this wrong, but how can he break the news to his five-year-old son that his mother never wanted him and he's the product of a drunken one-night-stand when he forgot a condom and he was lucky he got David and not an STD?

"Your mother had a lot of things she wanted to do in life. She wanted to be a nurse and help people. She wanted to go to Africa where a lot of sick kids are...she was a good woman."

"Is she dead?" David's eyes widen and he stops walking.

"No, she's not. But I haven't seen her in a long time."

"Oh, good, dead is bad." David sighs in relief, though he's still frowning. "How come she never comes back to see me?"

"Because between all of her dreams, being a mommy wasn't one of them. But she knew I wanted to be a daddy, I wanted it more than anything, so she grew you in her belly, made you grow strong and healthy inside of her, and then gave you to me, because she didn't know how to protect you and nurture you anymore."

"What's nurrur?" he frowns.

"Nurture," Derek repeats. "It's like...taking care. Helping you grow into the best man you can be. Teaching you how to be brave and kind and funny, and all the good qualities you have."

"She didn't know how to do that?"

"She didn't."

"But you did?"

Derek chuckles. "I had a lot to learn, because I never nurtured you before. I took care of your cousins when they were babies sometimes, but I never raised a son before you. It was hard. And for your mommy it was even harder, so she decided not to do it anymore."