I Wanna Be Yours

"Chapter 20"

Derek stares at the sealed envelope with his test results in apprehension, studying its texture closely.

It's a miracle that the results only took three days to get back to him, but he suspects it's because he was the only one taking the test in the first place.

Maybe Ellis Grey herself went over his mistakes and marked his results. The thought makes him shudder, because the first person he wants to tell about his test results is no other than Ellis' daughter.

Derek doesn't know if it's because Meredith helped him study or because he needs to kiss her senseless again, maybe finally figure out a moment to be really alone, without any David interruptions. He doesn't even know what they're doing beyond kissing, if they can even have a definition, but he wants to find her and open the envelope with her by his side.

Ridiculous? He's aware of that, but he can't help himself.

He's loitering out of her office, the envelope in his hands, a chart on his lap, pretending to work as he waits for Meredith. She had a surgery scheduled and she should be done any minute, so he hopes he can steal her from the busy hospital life for a bit. Maybe open the envelope and steal a kiss or two, that would brighten his day tenfold.

"Hey, Shepherd," a voice calls, and he turns to see Cristina Yang, a quizzical look on her face. "Is it true that you're now a resident?"

"Maybe," he says, brandishing the envelope with the results. "Can't bring myself to open this."

"Well, if your test was crap you're still an intern, right?"

"I guess." He shrugs.

"Then what's the problem?"

Her pager beeps, making Cristina huff. "Old man needs his tubes changed every other hour. Hope you're done with this bullshit soon."

She disappears before he can thank her for giving him perspective, and Derek remains sitting on the floor, fidgeting with the envelope in his hands.

When his eyes lift up again, Meredith is coming down the corridor and she looks wiped. He stands up and gathers his chart, trying to appear less of a hobo.

"Dr. Shepherd," she says, her tone flat and tired. She still manages to look beautiful, though.

"Dr. Grey, can I speak to you for a minute? In private?"

Meredith sighs, but her eyes soften. "Of course, Dr. Shepherd."

She opens her office for him and he gets in, as she closes the door with a soft click. Her office is quiet and cozy, and he smiles at how relaxing it looks. A little impersonal, he has to admit, but he can see traces of Meredith there.

Meredith gives him a look as she collapses on her chair, almost as if she's inviting him to sit as well. He keeps standing, though.

"Are you okay?" He feels compelled to ask, since she looks done for the day, and it's barely after lunch.

"Just a long surgery. It was touch-and-go for too long, but luckily the guy is gonna pull through."

"I'm glad," he murmurs, fidgeting with the envelope.

Meredith stares at him expectantly, knowing he's not there to check up on her.

"I have my intern test results," he blurts, and her eyes widen. "I can't bring myself to open the envelope."

Meredith gives him the very first genuine smile of the day. "It doesn't bite."

"Now you sound like my mom." Derek rolls his eyes, but so does Meredith, and they chuckle together.