I Wanna Be Yours

"Chapter 32"

At nine o'clock sharp Meredith receives the notice from the FDA that their trial is shut down.

What a way to start their morning.

Except, it doesn't come into effect until midnight of the same day, and Beth Monroe is technically still within the walls of this hospital.

She debates long and hard about this, about loopholes and selfishness. Beth's parents are categorically against her going under, but since Beth is already eighteen, there's nothing they can do when she signs the consent forms with her shaky signature.

Ellis Grey is also definitely not on board with this surgery, but Meredith is ready to bear the consequences. She feels like she figured out what they were missing, and she's ready to go in.

Derek at least supports her. They brainstormed ideas when he brought her coffee from home, and it felt right. The domesticity of the travel mug, the warmth of the coffee down her throat, and Derek's gentle smile, all contribute to convincing her that they can save Beth.

Beth told Jeremy she was not finished, loving him or living, and Meredith knows they can help her survive this.

They are barely talking as she scrubs in with Derek. He asks her random things about a covered deck and a swingset in the backyard for David on the land. Meredith tries to focus on the memory calming trees and the quiet of the birds to relax her neurons, keep them ready to fire up and perform at their best as they operate on Beth.

The procedure is so similar, but this time there's no need for her to guide Derek. They operate as one as they push the virus inside Beth's brain.

The small victory is that Beth makes it out of the OR.

When Meredith lifts her eyes to the gallery at the applause of the entire OR staff, she's met with Ellis Grey's disapproving gaze. Yet, she has no regrets.

She camps out in Beth's room, taking care of the paperwork, writing the procedures, their findings, putting them on paper to justify their choices to a now-riotous FDA.

Meredith is not surprised to see Derek show up around seven o'clock, bringing her dinner, sharing the meal with her in silence, as they study Beth's vitals.

"You should go home. Stay with David," she says, regret seeping into her tone. He has neglected his son for Beth, their trial baby, and that's unacceptable. She does this to him, pulls him into her madness when he has responsibilities, commitments.

"I know. I would like to stay, though."

"He needs his daddy," she tells him, and he smiles.

"He misses you, too."

Meredith nods. She hasn't seen the boy in a couple of days, and she feels like the worst person ever.

"When Beth..." She swallows. They don't know if Beth will wake up. "When the situation changes, I'll come home."

Derek's smile brightens at her words. Home.

Meredith debates when that came to be. Yet, she's happy to have a home, a good home, with people that love her, and that she's not afraid to admit she loves back. She's not sure what will happen next, but for now she's glad she has a home with the Shepherd boys.

Derek says goodbye with the softest kiss on her temple and the firmest squeeze of her shoulder, leaving her warm and optimistic.

Hours tick by in silence, only broken by the usual hum of the hospital, sounds that make up the soundtrack of most of Meredith's life. The steady beeping of Beth's heart monitor tonight is the best song Meredith could hear.